I often hear people complaining about their jobs, their spouses or significant others, their commutes to and from work and other things that life brings them. What I do not often hear are solutions.

Complaining about things is normal, but at what point does it become pathological and set you up to be a victim of your life? Complaining goes hand-in-hand with anger and we have talked about that. Why hold on to all that anger? What purpose does it serve? What is beneath that anger? Shame? Guilt? Hurt?

Complaining about your life sets you up to be a victim of your life and your choices. If you own your choices, it is easier to find solutions to your problems rather than simply complain about the things that happen to you throughout the day.

I have people in my life who complain about their jobs, their commute to their jobs and the people they work with. I encourage those people to stop for a moment and be thankful that, in this recovering economy, they have a job to go to every day. I have people in my life who complain about their spouses or significant others. Perhaps instead of complaining about that person, sit down and have a meaningful conversation with that person and tell them how you are feeling about his or her behaviors.

People who constantly complain invite negativity into their lives and surround themselves with misery. It is easy to complain about various aspects of one’s life. It takes far more energy and creativity to come up with solutions. What can you to do today to find answers to the problems in your life? What can you do today to make your own situation better?