So often in my work I see people who are unhappy with their lives, their jobs, their significant others, their situations. People come to treatment seeking solace, seeking an end to their sadness, their pain, their loneliness. People come to treatment wanting their therapist or counselor to make them happy. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make that happen, but unfortunately, I cannot.

As a mental health professional, I can help you find the tools that will help you make yourself happy, but as an outsider, I cannot make you happy. Happiness comes from within. Happiness and joy in your life comes from making the sometimes difficult choice to be happy, to make yourself happy, to do things that bring you peace and love and joy. You will never be happy or content with your life until you first decide to be happy and then choose to do things to make yourself happy.

Can others make you happy? Certainly other people can contribute to your happiness, but choose those people wisely. So often we find ourselves in toxic relationships with significant others, family members, even friends. It is okay to rid yourselves of those people who bring negativity into your life, who make you feel less than or unworthy of love and belonging, of those people who do not value you as a person.

I often say that your life is a series of choices and the choices that you have made thus far have helped create for you the life you currently are living. Are you happy in your life right now? If not, perhaps it is time to start making better choices. You can choose to bring happy into your life by making better choices. There is no law that states you must continue doing the things that no longer bring you joy simply because you are used to doing them.

What keeps you stuck in a life that leaves you unhappy or unfulfilled? More likely than not it is the choices you make, the people with whom you surround yourself and the situations in which you find yourself. If you find yourself feeling unhappy, perhaps it is time to make a change. Easier said than done, right? You do not have to change everything all at once. Start with something small. Set a new boundary with someone in your life who makes you feel unhappy, perhaps spend less time with that person. Update your resume and start looking for a new job if you are unhappy in your work. Stop using the substances that leave you feeling low about yourself.

Change starts with you. You can bring happiness into your life by making decisions that will improve your chances at creating for yourself the life you deserve. You are the architect of your life. Build something you can enjoy and of which you can be proud.