I am reminded this week of the enormous strength and courage it takes to do battle on a daily basis with mental illness, substance use disorder, eating disorders and trauma. I am reminded of my own struggles with mental illness and eating disorders and the work involved in recovery.

In my work, I see people in the throes of illness and wanting desperately to stop feeling the pain of depression and anxiety, to stop using substances, to be free of eating disorders that plague them, to overcome trauma they have survived. I see people at their worst, at their most vulnerable. I want to applaud them for seeking treatment, for finding the courage to say they are ready to do the work of recovery.

So many people who live in the darkness of depression and anxiety, who live in the quagmire of substance use and who live in the profound aloneness of eating disorders feel ashamed of their illness. So many people feel the weight of stigma in asking for help, in admitting that they cannot find wellness on their own. I want to remind anyone who lives with mental illness, substance use, trauma or eating disorders that there is no shame in seeking treatment. It takes more courage to ask for help than it does to suffer in silence. Can you be courageous today? There are people who want to help you find your way from illness to wellness. There are people who want to hear your stories and help you find a way to write a happier ending.

I understand being stuck in depression and anxiety and eating disorders and feeling so weighed down that even the idea of asking for help seems too hard. I understand not being able to fathom the idea that anyone wants to listen to your troubles, that anyone cares to help. I understand the feeling of being so tired of feeling sick and tired that the idea of doing the work of recovery seems exhausting. Believe me when I say this, though. There are people who do care. There are people who do want to help. Reach out. You do not have to suffer in silence. You do not have to fight this battle on your own. You can assemble an army of mental health professionals to help you win the war against mental illness, who can help you develop an arsenal of weapons in your fight against substance use, who can arm you with tools to be free of your eating disorder. Can you find the courage to seek help? Can you find the courage to fight for yourself, for a better life? You deserve to be free of your demons. You deserve happiness and a life worth living. What better day to start living that life than today?

 

 

 

How often in our lives do we not do something because of the things we keep telling ourselves? How often do we tell ourselves we cannot do this or that because we are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough … enough at all? How often do we let the stories we have been telling ourselves for years stop us from doing something we likely would enjoy?

I recently saw something that said, “Underestimate me … that will be fun.” I then saw something that said, “Your only limit is you.” To some extent, that is true. What would you do today if you told yourself you are enough? What would happen if instead of telling yourself you are not good enough or do not deserve something, you told yourself you are good enough just the way you are?

What stories have you been telling yourself that keep you stuck where you are? So many times in my work, I see people who believe they are unworthy of love and belonging and understanding because they live with mental illness or substance use disorder or eating disorders. The story they have been telling themselves keeps them stuck in their illnesses. They put limits on themselves and their lives by staying stuck in the story that tells them they are not worthy of happiness, of a better life. What happens if instead of repeating that story, they start telling themselves they are worthy of happiness?

Who has been telling you that you are not worthy of love? Likely more than not it is not your family or friends. Perhaps that story developed in your mind because of childhood emotional neglect or abuse, but hopefully that is not the story people in your life are telling you now. Yet, we hold onto that story from our past that keeps us stuck in feelings of sorrow and sadness. Perhaps we do that because we feel it is easier to believe we are unworthy of love and belonging than it is to believe we are beautifully and wonderfully made and worthy of love and all life has to offer. What stories do you tell yourself that put limits on your life?

Perhaps it is time to start telling yourself a new story, one where you are worthy of happiness and love and belonging and a life worth living. Perhaps it is time to stop putting limits on your own life. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved simply because you are a human being. Start telling yourself that and a whole new world will open up to you. Your only limit is you. Time to get out of your own way.

It has been a rough week. News of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain and several patients living with suicidal ideation have left me shaken. I am constantly reminded that you just never know what people are struggling with.

Suicide is on the rise and currently is the 10th leading cause of death. So often, people living with suicidal thoughts want less to die than they want the emotional pain and turmoil they are in to simply stop. People living with suicidal ideation often see death as the only way for their pain to stop. They simply cannot see another way to be free of the often overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness that plague them.

In recent days, I have heard people say that suicide is selfish, that those who attempt or complete suicide fail to think of how their actions will affect others. To some extent this may be true, but more often than not people who attempt or complete suicide are feeling so alone they think everyone in their life will be better off without them. So often, people who are feeling suicidal feel as though they are a burden on those around them. They feel isolated and alone in their pain.

What we as care givers, friends, loved ones must do is frequently remind those living with profound depression, crippling anxiety, substance use disorders or eating disorders or other mental illness that they are not alone, that there is hope and that more likely than not tomorrow will be better. Those living with suicidal ideation often find it impossible to believe that their lives or situations can get better. We must remind them that it can. We must work to instill hope.

Living with mental illness, substance use disorder and eating disorders is not a choice. Mental illness is not a flaw in character; it is a flaw in chemistry. Please, if you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal ideation, seek help or encourage your loved one to seek treatment. There is help; there is hope. Anyone feeling as though they want to commit suicide may call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or text the Crisis Text Line at 741 741 to speak with a counselor.

You are not alone in your illness. There are people who care. There are people who are willing to talk to you and remind you that there is hope. You may feel as though things will never get better. If you are willing to seek treatment and participate in your own recovery, you will get better. Tomorrow can be better. Tomorrow will be better.

 

In my line of work, I often hear people struggling with substance use disorder, mental illness or eating disorders say that they will start treatment in a week, a month … later. I often wonder, why not now? More often than not, they are not ready or do not recognize there might be a problem.

We in social work often speak about the stages of change. People sometimes know there is a problem but are not yet ready to do anything about it. People usually come to treatment when there is a crisis or when remaining the same is more painful than the possibility of changing. Sometimes, people come to treatment at the behest of a loved one or other person who cares about them. But change does not happen unless one is ready to stop performing the behavior that keeps them sick. And so often, we become so used to performing a certain behavior or feeling a certain way, the idea of changing is so overwhelming we opt to stay right where we are.

Sometimes, people stuck in the quagmire of substance use or mental illness or eating disorders do not even realize there might be a problem. They seem to be functioning well enough, making it to work or school. What they possibly do not realize is the damage they are doing to their bodies, minds and souls by continuing to use or stay stuck in sadness. There is so much more to life than being comfortably uncomfortable. Do you not deserve more?

Change takes work. But it is so worth it. Do you not deserve to live a healthier, happier life? Do you not deserve to become the person you always were meant to be? Why not start today? What is the worst that could happen?