The Mirriam-Webster dictionary defines resilience as “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress, or an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

In my work at a hospital, I am constantly amazed by how resilient people who live with mental illness, substance use, eating disorders and trauma are. People come to us when they are at their very worst. People come to us in the throes of psychosis, in the quagmire of profoundly debilitating depression, the muck of substance use and the horrors of trauma. Yet somehow these people manage to get themselves to our hospital to say they need help managing their symptoms. I commend them for doing so. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help.

People who live with mental illness of any kind often beat themselves up for being “weak,” but that is not what I see when they come to us for help. I see survivors, warriors on the front lines in the war against what ails them. I see people who have every right to celebrate the victory of managing to survive another day with severe mental illness. Living with mental illness is not easy and most people who do are so much stronger than they give themselves credit for. Managing mental illness takes a lot of daily effort.

I have said it before, but I will say it again. We who live with mental illness are champions. We live with mental illness because we are strong enough to handle it. We who manage to win the war against our symptoms every day are victors. We are the epitome of resilience. Do not forget how strong you are. So much more so than what you probably think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I often find myself amazed and inspired in my work at a hospital. Seeing so many people come through the emergency room or intake offices struggling with suicidal thoughts, profound depression, substance use disorders and trauma who somehow find a way to carry on reminds me of the strength it takes to live with mental illness.

Living with mental illness can be debilitating, leaving one both mentally and physically exhausted. Depression can cause a lack of sleep or too much sleep, changes in appetite, trouble with concentration and memory. Substance use disorders literally can change the structure of the sufferer’s brain. Trauma can leave one with painful memories and flashbacks. The resilience of those living with these illnesses astounds me. To carry on takes courage and bravery.

Coming to the hospital to say you need help with mental illness can take a lot of effort. Many of the people I meet are at wit’s end and no longer can manage on their own. We try to get them the help they need, be it inpatient hospitalization, partial hospitalization, outpatient services or substance abuse treatment. Thankfully, many people follow our recommendations and get the help they need. Unfortunately, some people choose not to follow through on the doctor’s recommendations.

What I often see is people who come for treatment for only a short while and while they are in treatment, take their medications and speak with a therapist or counselor. Often, after leaving the hospital, patients choose not to carry on with therapy and medications. Frequently, these folks end up back in our emergency room wondering how things got so bad again. They fail to follow up with the doctor’s recommendation for continued care such as taking medications as prescribed, seeing an outpatient therapist and meeting with a psychiatrist for medication management. There are many reasons for this, but I urge you to follow your doctor’s recommendations following discharge from inpatient or partial hospitalization or substance use treatment. Believe me, you will be better off for it.

There should be no shame in seeking treatment and continuing to take medication and speaking with a therapist or counselor following hospitalization, but sadly there is stigma attached to treatment. Only you can decide to follow up with treatment. Only you can make the decision to move from mental illness to mental wellness. The future is up to you.

It pains me to see so many people stop taking their medication and stop talking to a therapist because they think they are “cured” of mental illness. Taking medication and speaking to someone about what troubles you is what gets and keeps you well. Please do not stop doing the things that keep you feeling better. Please take into consideration what the doctor ordered for you. We all want to see you get well and stay well. Medication and therapy, along with coping skills, exercise and proper nutrition, can keep you from sliding down the slippery slope back into mental illness. Follow the doctor’s recommendations and, more likely than not, you will continue on the path of recovery.

Every day at work I am reminded that you just never know what someone is struggling with, what challenges they face or what demons they battle on a daily basis. Every day, I am reminded of the courage it takes to rise to the challenge of saying to someone, “I need help. I cannot do this alone.”

I have said it before and I will say it again: It takes more courage to ask for help than it does to suffer in silence. This past week, I met several brave people who brought themselves in for treatment after suffering in silence with crippling depression and anxiety. I applaud them for doing so and hope I did right by them all. One of the amazing people I met was a woman who walked three days through the mountains of Mexico to come to the United States, only to find herself in an abusive relationship that has left her profoundly depressed. I reminded her how brave she was for bringing herself in for treatment.

Finding one’s way from mental illness to mental wellness is not easy nor does it happen overnight. The path to recovery can be a long one and taking the first step can be daunting. But there is hope in recovery and a promise of a brighter future if you are willing to do the work of recovery.

Recovery is work and one has to be all in for it to work. Recovery requires therapy and medication and proper nutrition and exercise and learning a new set of coping skills and practicing those skills when times get tough. One cannot simply take a pill and expect to be magically better. Talk therapy is necessary to work out problems that are at the root of mental illness, substance use, eating disorders and trauma. Proper nutrition is important to help your body work the way it should. Exercise releases ever-important endorphins that help you feel better. Coping skills are important for everyone to possess. It is okay to ask for help learning how to employ these things. There are people like me who care to listen and help you work through your problems.

I have had people tell me that they do not want to talk to a counselor or therapist because “they are paid to listen.” Yes, we get paid for our work but that does not mean we are not interested in hearing your story or in helping you write a better ending. We care and care deeply about helping you find your way to wellness. All you have to do is ask for help.

The woman I met last night who trekked through the mountains to come to the United States came here because she wanted a better life. Last night she climbed one more mountain to ask for help with depression. Her bravery astounded me, her courage inspired me. Can you find the courage to take the first step on your road to recovery? Are you willing to trek through the mountain of mental illness to find your way to wellness? Reach out today. There are people who very much want to help you succeed on your journey.

So often in my work, I see people desperately wanting to feel better, to be free of their mental illness, substance use, trauma and eating disorders. So often, I see people suffering in their symptoms, wallowing in misery and despair. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone better.

Sadly, treatment does not work like magic. Treatment … recovery takes hard work and daily effort. Oftentimes, I see people who want to feel better but refuse to fully participate in their own recovery. Getting well takes more than simply wanting to feel better; it takes a commitment to doing the work of recovery. That could mean anything from inpatient hospitalization, participating in a partial hospitalization program, meeting with a therapist or counselor on your own and, more likely than not, taking medication. I have seen very few people living with mental illness recover without taking their medication.

What I do see frequently is people who stop taking their medication and then decompensating to the point where they no longer can function and must be admitted to the hospital for stabilization. People stop taking their medication for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they feel it no longer is working or they do not like the side effects. Some people in the throes of psychosis believe the medication is poison. Some people simply cannot afford to pay for their medication and stop taking it. I urge you to continue to take your medication as prescribed.

If you believe the cocktail of medication you have been prescribed no longer is working for you, instead of stopping usage, talk to your psychiatrist or primary care physician. Perhaps the doctor can try a different medication. It can take several tries to find what medications work best for you. It also can take several weeks for the medication to kick in. Do not stop taking your medication because you feel it is not working. It is possible it just has not started working for you yet. If you have concerns about your medication, please talk to your doctor instead of stopping usage. Your doctor can help you find what works best for you.

Recovery from mental illness, substance use, eating disorders and trauma is possible if you are willing to do the work of it. There is no magic trick to be performed. Recovery involves a combination of talk therapy and medication, as well as learning coping skills, exercise and positive thinking. Recovery works if you work it. Are you willing to take the steps necessary to find your way to wellness? Are you willing to take good care of yourself so that you can live the life you deserve?

I woke up this morning as the sun was rising from a dream that left me wishing there were less stigma surrounding mental illness.

In the dream, I was chatting with a stranger who asked how I was and of whom I inquired the same. He told me he was fine, and I said the same. But then, he said, something along the lines of that is what we are supposed to say when someone asks how we are doing. We are supposed to tell people we are fine, even when we are not. But why is that? What would happen if we who live with mental illness, substance use disorder, eating disorders or trauma were to tell people what we really are feeling? More likely than not, we would be met with surprised looks.

We are taught at a young age not to share our true feelings with others lest we somehow offend them. We are taught at a young age not to share our true feelings because most people do not know what to do with others’ feelings. So, we say we are fine, that everything is good. In my world of mental health, keeping silent about your true feelings is what helps perpetuate stigma.

I truly believe that if we start sharing our real feelings and our stories about our lives with mental illness and substance use and eating disorders and trauma, there will be less stigma surrounding these sicknesses. If more people could come to the understanding that depression, anxiety, substance use, eating disorders and trauma are illnesses that can be treated and managed like any other kind of illness, perhaps there would be less stigma surrounding them. If more people could understand that mental illnesses are treatable medical condition, perhaps more people would feel free to seek treatment and enter into recovery.

How do we go about sharing our stories? By being honest about our feelings. If someone who cares about you asks how you are doing, tell him the truth. Hopefully, that person will take a minute to listen to how you really are doing and offer an encouraging word or two. That can help open up a conversation about mental illness, one where you can provide information about conditions that affect some one in five people. The more we who live with mental illness, substance use, eating disorders and trauma can educate those who are not afflicted, the closer we come to ending stigma.

Naturally, my dream ended before that stranger and I could share what we both really were feeling. My hope upon waking was, though, that we both shared our true feelings and entered into a conversation about them. Wishful thinking? Perhaps, but I remain hopeful and confident that the more we share our true feelings and stories, the weaker stigma becomes. What can you to today to help end the stigma surrounding mental illness? Can you share your story? Can you tell someone who cares about you how you really are feeling?