So often in my work, I see people in the throes of mental illness, substance use disorders, trauma and eating disorders who just want the pain of these ailments to end and are not sure how to make it stop. Sadly, there is no magic pill that will make these illnesses vanish. You have to work on your own recovery.

I do see so many people who take the first step in seeking treatment, going into the hospital to get stabilized from mental health crisis. In the hospital, patients are taught coping skills with DBT and CBT. People there learn about relapse prevention and are encouraged to continue treatment once discharged from the hospital. Sadly, for whatever reason, many people choose not to continue treatment once they get home. Perhaps they cannot afford to pay for outpatient services or medication. There are programs that can help with that, though, and many locations offer services on a sliding scale.

Last week, I met a woman who came to the emergency room after what she described as a “relapse” in mental illness. She told me that she had been working on her recovery for four years and had been feeling better. One thing led to another and she stopped participating in her own recovery and ended up in the emergency room. She felt defeated and discouraged by this relapse, but determined to get back on track with her mental health and vowed to seek outpatient services and perhaps new medication. That kind of determination inspires me and also reminds me that relapse happens long before one reaches a crisis, takes that first drink or participates in self-harm after years of abstinence. Relapse begins when one stops doing the work of recovery.

Relapse is not an event; it is a process that begins days, weeks, months before one finds oneself in crisis. Relapse begins when one stops going to therapy or stops taking one’s medications. Relapse begins when one ceases contact with an AA or NA sponsor. Relapse begins when one starts making excuses as to why one cannot make his regular AA or NA meeting.

Relapse often is preventable. One has to continue to participate in his own recovery for recovery to work. Recovery works if you work it. Moving from mental illness to mental wellness takes work and once well, recovery requires daily effort to stay well. There are things one can do to prevent relapse such as reaching out to your psychiatrist or primary care physician if you think your medications no longer are working and talking with that doctor about perhaps changing medication or adding something new to your regimen. Relapse can be prevented by making sure you keep appointments with your therapist or counselor even if you are feeling better. Relapse can be prevented by maintaining regular contact with your AA or NA sponsor. Relapse can be prevented by using your coping skills when needed.

I have said it before and will say it again: Recovery is work and requires daily effort. Are you not worth the effort it takes to get and stay well? Do you not deserve a life full of happiness and health? Do you not deserve to become the person you always were meant to be? Recovery works if you work it. Are you ready to put in the effort?

How many of us say to ourselves things along the lines of, “When I lose 10 pounds, I’ll be happy” or “When I get that job, I’ll be happy?” How often to we predicate our future happiness on things over which we have little control? How often do we hold off on letting ourselves be happy with the way things are right now? How often do we postpone our joy?

You deserve to be happy right now, in this moment, in the life that you are living. Sometimes, yes, that can be difficult if you are living with mental illness, substance use, eating disorders or trauma. But, try to remember, there are things in your life that are good, too, and be thankful for those things. Your happiness should not depend on something that has not yet happened.

It can be difficult to find joy when you are struggling with mental illness of any kind. But to some extent, once you make the decision to be happy, happiness often follows. Once you decide to make the move from mental illness to mental wellness, happiness will follow. Yes, it takes work, but there is joy to be found even as you journey toward wellness. The steps you take now to become well should be celebrated. There is joy to be found along the path to wellness.

What can you do today to find happiness in the things that you are doing to move from illness to wellness? Can you celebrate the fact that you got out of bed today and into the shower? Can you pat yourself on the back for getting dressed and making it to work? Can you congratulate yourself for sticking with your medication regime? There is joy to be found in these small things; celebrate them. You deserve to be happy now, today, as well as in the future. There is joy to be found every day. Sometimes, you may have to search a little harder to find the good, but there is good in every day.

 

How many of us are living with mental illness, substance use disorders, eating disorders or trauma our own worst critics? How many of us beat ourselves up for even the smallest transgression? Likely more than not, no one is meaner to ourselves than we are. The things we say to ourselves often are cruel and uncalled for.

It can be difficult to remember when living with mental illness to give ourselves credit for small victories and celebrate our accomplishments. It can be difficult for those living with mental illness to remember the good things that we do during the day or the good things that happen to us throughout the day because we are stuck in a pattern of negative thinking. It can be difficult for those living with mental illness to remember to be gentle with ourselves. It can be difficult to remember that we are doing the best that we can.

I recently met a woman living with major depressive disorder who confided in me that she is often cruel to herself, calling herself weak for having depression. Living with mental illness does not mean you have a flaw in character, it means you have a flaw in brain chemistry. If you are taking steps to find your way from illness to wellness, give yourself proper credit. You are doing the best you can.

We who live with mental illness are warriors, fighting a daily battle against the demons in our minds. We need to remember to give ourselves props for even the smallest things, like getting out of bed and into the shower and to work. We who fight the good fight must try to remember that we should celebrate those little victories. We who battle depression, anxiety, substance use, eating disorders and trauma need to be gentle with ourselves.

What can you do today to be kind to yourself? Can you take a walk or go for a run? Can you go for a bike ride in a nearby forest preserve? Can you jot down three good things from your day before you climb into bed at night? Can you take some time just for you to take care of yourself? Even just a few minutes a day of treating yourself to a kindness will make you feel better about yourself.

So often in my work, I see people who are in the throes of mental illness, substance abuse, trauma and eating disorders who are more than tired; they are deep down exhausted. I see people who are weary and uncertain as to how to move forward with their lives. They are stuck in the quagmire of illness. They have lost their fire.

Recovering from mental illness, substance use, trauma and eating disorders is difficult and takes daily effort. Sometimes, just getting out of bed is a victory and one that should be celebrated. Sometimes getting out of bed and into the shower is the most one can accomplish in a day and that, too, should be celebrated. Recovery takes effort but it is so worth it.

I recently met a woman who had been through treatment nine times and came to us seeking assistance again for mental illness and substance use disorder. I asked her what was different this time, what was going to make this journey through treatment different. She said this time, she was doing it for her. She was fighting for her life.

Recovery is about fighting for you, fighting for your life … a better life, the one you deserve. Recovery is about more than just wanting to be well, it is about taking the steps necessary to become well and maintain wellness. It is not an event that happens; it does not happen overnight. Recovery is a process that takes time and requires daily effort. Recovery starts with you coming to the understanding that you have to fight for you and that you are worth the fight, that you are worth the effort to become the person you were meant to be and that you are worth the effort to live the life you deserve.

Sadly, people living with mental illness, substance use, eating disorders and trauma think often think they are not worth the effort, that they are not good enough, that they are inherently flawed. They cannot see that they are people worthy of happiness and health. They cannot see that they are people who are wonderfully and beautifully made. They cannot see that they are worth the fight. I am here to tell you, you are worth the fight. You are worth the time and effort it takes to move from illness to wellness. You are worth the time and effort to cast aside the demons that plague you and become the person you were meant to be. Are you ready to step into the ring and fight for yourself?