As 2018 comes to a close, I am reminded of a challenge posed to me to practice self-love for the 12 days of Christmas. I must confess, I have trouble with this.

So many people equate self-love with being selfish. This is not true. Self-love means taking care of yourself so that you can better take care of those you love. But how do we practice self-love, especially after days, weeks, months, years of negative self-talk and not taking care of ourselves first?

One of the hardest things to do is to try to change our negative self-talk into positive self-talk. We call ourselves nasty names. We put ourselves down for failing to perform or succeed on a particular task. We are our own worst critics. Instead of speaking badly to yourself, try patting yourself on the back for persevering on a task. Try instead of calling yourselves nasty names, call yourself “darling.” Instead of criticizing your appearance, try focusing on the parts of your body you love and compliment yourself for those parts.

Self-love means taking care of yourself. What can you to for yourself today to take care of yourself and your emotional health? Can you listen to your favorite podcast? Can you listen to some music you find inspiring? Can you get outside for 30 or 60 minutes? Could you watch your favorite movie or pick up your favorite book? Could you eke out time to color, draw or paint? Find something you enjoy and make a few minutes or so to do that. The better you take care of yourself, the easier it will be to take care of others.

With the new year nearly upon us, now is the time to rid yourself of the things that made you unhappy in 2018 and years past. The new year offers 365 chances to create for yourself a life you are happy living. Every day is a day to welcome new opportunities to love yourself for the wonderfully created person you are. What can you do in 2019 to become the person you always were meant to be?

Recently, I was reminded how people living with high-functioning depression and anxiety, substance use disorders and eating disorders can find themselves feeling profoundly lonely and alone.

So often, people living with mental illnesses of any kind can find themselves feeling alone in their sickness. People living with these illnesses often feel as though not only do they not deserve love because of their illness, they feel completely isolated and alone in their sickness. People living with mental illness and substance use disorders often feel unlovable and often tend to isolate themselves because of those feelings rather than reaching out when they need company or help managing their symptoms.

What if instead of isolating yourself and withdrawing even more into the darkness of your illness, you reached out and said to a friend or family member, “Hey, I’m not doing so good today. Do you have time to talk?” It takes more courage to seek help than it does to suffer in silence.

What if instead of trying to navigate the deep waters of loneliness all by yourself, you stepped up appointments with your therapist or counselor to help you realize there are people who care about you and want to see you happy? A therapist or counselor can help arm you with tools to help you manage your symptoms. There is no shame in seeking assistance managing your illness.

There may be times when it is difficult to connect with others, when family or friends do not have time to talk. What to do then? This is the time to practice self-care and embrace your alone time. Try to find things that you enjoy doing on your own and learn to enjoy your own company. Take yourself out to dinner. Go see a move you want to see. Go for a long run or walk. Schedule a massage or manicure. Once you learn to love your own company, fending off feelings of loneliness becomes easier.

Everyone experiences feelings of loneliness from time to time. The trick to navigating these feelings is remember that there are people who care about you just a phone call or text away. And if you find yourself with no one to communicate at the moment, try to do something just for you that will help you manage those feelings. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and making yourself feel better about your situation. If you need to, make an appointment with a therapist or counselor. We can help you remember that even when you are alone, you are worthy of love and belonging and that there always are people who care about you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is that time of year again … running from here to there, searching for the perfect holiday gifts for family and friends, going to parties, baking cookies and other delectable treats, writing out Christmas cards. ‘Tis the season for giving to and doing for those we love. In all the hustle and bustle of the holidays,  it is important to remember to take time to take care of ourselves.

Finding the time to practice self-care can be difficult at any time of year but especially so during the holidays. Still, with everything we are trying to do for others, it is important not to forget ourselves. You have to take care of yourself if you hope to take care of others. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

What can you do during this busy season to take care of yourself? First of all, remember what makes you happy and try to find the time to do that, even if it is just for a short time. Do you enjoy exercise? Reading? Getting a manicure or massage? Do you enjoy listening to music or dancing? Do you enjoy art, woodworking or crafts? Try to fit in some time to take care of you.

The holidays can become overwhelming if we fail to take care of ourselves. We so often find ourselves trying to make the season perfect for those around us and we sometimes fail to take care of ourselves in doing so, leaving us both physically and emotionally exhausted. Now might be the perfect time to squeeze in an appointment with your therapist or counselor. Check in with yourself …. how are you feeling? How are you holding up during the holidays? Make time to take care of you and taking care of everyone else will be easier and more rewarding.