I was reading something yesterday about listening to one’s inner critic and started to wonder how many of us have harsh inner voices that tell us we are not good enough, do not try hard enough, are not thin enough, pretty enough or smart enough? How many of us let that inner critic actually keep us from trying because we have for years heard that we are failures?

Our inner critics can be our worst enemies, or they can become our best friends. So often, though, we let those harsh inner critics keep us from becoming the people we always were meant to be. We listen to that voice inside our heads telling us we messed up that job interview, we could have studied harder for that test, we could have done better with that presentation. We let that inner critic tell us we are not good enough at whatever it is we try to do. What we may have trouble remembering is that try is all we can do, that mistakes are proof that we are trying. You only fail if you do not try, so go ahead and make mistakes because that is how you learn to do something better the next time.

Sometimes, our inner critic is so harsh it prevents us from trying anything at all. That voice can sometimes tell us that if we cannot do something perfectly, why do it at all? But if we leave no room for failure, we leave no room for growth. And if we leave no room for growth, how can we become the people we always were meant to be?

How do you silence your harsh inner critic? Start by listening to that other voice in your head, the one that is your cheerleader. If you feel like you bombed that job interview, try to look at it as a learning experience. Maybe you were stumped by a question. Next time you will know how to answer something similar. If you feel like you did not perform well on a test, next time you may know where to focus your attention while studying. If you became nervous during a presentation and flubbed some lines, next time you will know to practice a little more. Give yourself credit for learning how to do something better. Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes.

Your inner voice can be a cheerleader for you if you allow yourself the chance to learn from your mistakes so that you can do something better next time. As with all things, this takes practice. Allow yourself time to master listening to your cheerleader instead of your harsh inner critic. Allow yourself the opportunity to become good at this. Allow yourself to make mistakes.