We all have known that person, the person who you have been friends with for years, maybe decades. You have known that person intimately, shared conversations, feelings, secrets. You thought that person understood you. But over time, your friendship has become lopsided. Over the years, you hear less and less from him or her unless he or she needs something from you. The deep and meaningful conversations you once had have disappeared. He or she no longer shares with you. These days, it seems, that person only talks to you when he or she wants something from you, be it money or transportation or help with a project. You may be feeling as though you are doing all the work to maintain your friendship. You may feel you always are the one making the trip to see your friend while your friend rarely, if ever, comes to you. Your friendship has become one-sided, with you giving and giving and giving and him taking and taking and taking.

What to do about such a friendship? You may still value that person for what he or she once meant to you. You may be clinging to the hope that your friendship can return to what it once was. But, somewhere in the recesses of your heart and brain, you know something has changed. Something is missing in the relationship, something you fear you likely never will get back.

There are options when dealing with a one-sided relationship. If you think your friend will be responsive, you can talk to your friend and tell him or her how you are feeling, that you miss the connection you once had. Perhaps the two of you can work things out if you can summon the courage to be vulnerable and share your feelings about what the relationship has become. You may be able to reach some kind of agreement that both you and she can meet somewhere in the middle, with your friend sharing more. You could encourage your friend to reach out to you just to talk and reconnect. You could ask your friend to make a trip to come visit you. You could go out for coffee and make sure he pays his fair share.

Or, you could terminate the friendship. Yes, letting go of someone who once meant so much to you is difficult. But, perhaps, this may be for the best. It is not easy ending a friendship but if that relationship has become more trouble than it is worth emotionally or financially, it may be time to do just that.

With the start of a new decade now just days away, perhaps it is time to take stock of your relationships. If you are feeling drained emotionally and financially, if you are feeling taken advantage of, if you are feeling exhausted because of certain relationships, maybe it is time to move on from those relationships that have left you feeling not only as though you are doing all the work but that you have nothing left to give. Perhaps the start of a new decade can mean new friendships for you, ones that leave you feeling fulfilled emotionally and connected on a personal level. Do you not deserve that? Don’t you deserve to be with people who nourish your soul? Don’t you deserve to be with people who make you feel whole?