We are in the midst of a pandemic, and I do not just refer to the coronavirus. It seems as though we are in the midst of a pandemic of hate and judgement. It seems as though the more I talk to people, the more I hear hate-filled rhetoric and judgemental statements about others. It pains me to hear this as I cannot help thinking that we are all in this together, this life. We all are struggling to do our best and it seems as though some people have found it easier to cast judgement on others rather than look inward and work on becoming more compassionate and empathetic to themselves and to others.

In my work, I hear from people in all walks of life. I hear from people across all races, colors, creeds, religions. I hear from people of all political persuasions. I hear from people from myriad cultures and backgrounds. I love that aspect of my job. It opens me up to learning something new from the people I work with every day. It opens me up, period.

I wish the same were true of some of my clients. I find myself working with a fellow who comes from a Caucasian upper middle class suburban background, who struggles with addiction and mental health concerns. This fellow has told me in no uncertain terms how he leans politically and socially. What I have noticed in working with him is that he offers little to no compassion for himself having survived addiction and mental illness and affords those who suffer the same little compassion or empathy. It makes me curious as to why, and I can only believe that he has trouble with compassion and empathy because he is not yet fully healed.

In speaking with him yesterday, he told me of his hatred toward certain people, particularly people who do not take personal responsibility for their life choices. Interesting, coming from someone who has made a series of what may be considered poor life choices. It reminded me that people tend to judge others from those parts within oneself that are not healed. We project hatred on people for qualities in ourselves that we find disdainful. We refuse to offer compassion to those we hate because we cannot offer ourselves compassion.

I wonder what would happen if more of us were kinder not just to ourselves, but to others. I wonder what would happen if instead of judging others, we accepted each other as perfectly imperfect beings who are doing the best we can with what we have. I wonder if instead of hating others who are not like us, who do not look like us, who do not think like us, we accepted them as they are. What would happen if instead of passing judgement, we came from a place of love? What would happen if instead of practicing hate, we practiced loving kindness?

It costs us nothing to be kind to others, to offer others the love we should be giving to ourselves. It costs us nothing to be compassionate toward those who are different from us. It costs us nothing to listen to others with not just an open mind, but an open heart.

We are in the midst of pandemic of hate. Perhaps we can change that by treating others as we would like to be treated, with respect and dignity for being human beings. Perhaps we can change that by remembering that many people are fighting battles about which we know nothing. Perhaps we can change that by looking at ourselves before we judge others.

This week marks Mental Health Awareness Week and today is National Depression Screening Day. Some one in five people live with mental illness at any given time in the United States. You may be one of them. As we mark this week, remember that it takes more courage to ask for help with your illness than it does to suffer in silence.

Major depression is more than just feeling blue or out of sorts. It’s more than just a bad day; it’s a deep down inside feeling that life itself is bad and isn’t going to get any better. If you or someone you know is depressed, please know that it is okay to seek help. Some of the symptoms of major depression are:

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness

• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters

• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports

• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much

• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort

• Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people

• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness

• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements

• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that aren’t your responsibility

• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

• Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide

• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Living with depression or any mental illness does not mean you have a flaw in character. It does not mean you are weak. Rather, it’s more likely a flaw in brain chemistry. Many mental illnesses can be treated with medication and therapy. If you are struggling, reach out. There are people who care and who can help you find your way out of the darkness of depression or other illnesses. You do not have to be alone, you do not have to feel that you are alone in your suffering.

If you are feeling suicidal, please reach out to a trusted other or a mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.TALK.

We are in the midst of unprecedented times. A viral pandemic that has taken the lives of a million people. A contentious election year in the United States. A racial pandemic. Protests peppered with violence. So many of us are seeing so much bad in the world right now it can be difficult to see the good.

But, there is good, if only you take the time to look around you. In the midst of all the suffering stemming from the COVID-19 pandemic, the racial pandemic and the worries about the upcoming election in the United States, I still see beauty in the world and in its people. That beauty stems from those of us choosing to practice kindness and compassion.

Practicing kindness and compassion in times of chaos is a choice. One can choose to look upon the world and its people as though both are broken, or one can choose to look upon the world and its people as though both are improving. I choose the latter. I choose to believe that most people are doing their best to make the world a better place not just for them but for everyone.

If we choose to offer people compassion for doing the best they can with what they have, the easier it becomes to treat people with kindness. And that kindness costs you nothing. We can have different social or political beliefs and still treat each other with kindness. Just because someone is of a different political ilk does not mean he or she is a bad person. We can still treat that person with kindness and respect.

Treating those with whom we may disagree with kindness and respect says that we can disagree without being disagreeable. The cost of treating people with disdain is more than treating people with kindness. Treating people with kindness forces us to remember that people are doing the best they can. I have to believe that most people are doing the best they can with what they have. And that costs me nothing. Kindness costs me nothing.