It seems, all of a sudden, the holidays are upon us. Winter is near and for many people, the combination of shorter days, a change in the weather and the chaos of the holidays can mean an increase in depression and anxiety. Add to that mix the fact that we are in the midst of a global pandemic and it may seem even more difficult to navigate this season.

How can we best take care of ourselves during what for many can be a very busy time of year? How can we best take care of ourselves when we are in the midst of a pandemic that has many people looking at renewed stay-at-home orders? The answer is to practice good self-care. Self-care allows us to better take care of ourselves so that we can take good care of our loved ones and also allows us to take our power back.

Some of us may struggle to decide what self-care looks like. It means different things for different people, as all things do, but here are some ideas you might consider:

• Wrap yourself up with a cozy blanket, a cup of hot chocolate and a good book.

• Light a fire in the fireplace and simply gaze into the fire.

• Listen to a favorite Christmas music.

• Pop up some popcorn and watch a beloved Christmas special or movie.

• Drive or walk around and look at holiday light displays in your city, town or village.

• Give yourself a holiday-themed manicure or pedicure.

• Make yourself a mug of tea and simply watch the snow fall.

• Put on some relaxing music and practice yoga or other indoor exercise.

• Bundle up and take a walk through the snow either by yourself or with a loved one. Remember what it was like to be a kid playing in the snow.

• Make a snow fort and have a snowball fight with your family. Follow it with mugs of steaming hot tea or cocoa.

• Build a snow man complete with eyes, nose, arms and scarf.

• Visit the Oak Park Conservatory or Garfield Conservatory (Garfield is free!) if you live in the Chicago area.

• Bake some Christmas cookies for yourself, a friend, a neighbor or deliver them to a homeless shelter.

• Remember to stay hydrated.

• Take up a winter sport such as skiing, snow shoeing or snowboarding.

• Take a hot bubble bath complete with candles and relaxing music.

These are but a few ideas and I am certain you can come up with more. These ideas may help you manage feelings of depression or anxiety that can crop up with the holiday season, particularly now that we are navigating the holidays during a global health crisis.

For those of us who struggle with self-care and may think that self-care is selfish, please remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you do not take care of yourself, it is difficult if not impossible to take care of anyone else. Please try to remember that you deserve to take care of yourself, to nourish yourself, your body and your soul.

We are living in challenging times. Many of us are feeling the weight of this pandemic and taking care of ourselves is of utmost importance. It is crucial that we as we continue to navigate this pandemic and the holiday season that we take the time to take care of ourselves so that we can be at our best for those who we love and cherish. The holiday season can be challenging in the best of times, but even more so now. Remember that you deserve to make yourself, your physical and mental health a priority. Self-care is not selfish; it is an act of self-love.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

What strange times we are living in right now. We are in the midst of a global health crisis the likes of which most of us never have seen before. A pandemic that requires us to practice social distancing, keeping us away from our most treasured family and friends as we begin to celebrate the holiday season. It may seem as though there is little for which to be thankful.

With American Thanksgiving just days away and much of the United States seeing a surge in COVID-19 cases, it may be difficult to think about all the things for which we can practice gratitude. We may be feeling an increase in anxiety and depression because of the pandemic. We may be feeling evermore isolated and lonely after months of social distancing. We may be feeling restless after months of working from home, or not working at all. How can we even begin to think about practicing gratitude in the midst of all of the uncertainty caused by the pandemic?

For starters, we can be thankful for the opportunity to keep ourselves and our friends and family members safe by continuing to practice safety protocols such as wearing masks and social distancing. We can be thankful for the technology that affords us the opportunity to reach out to family and friends via video chats, text messages and phone calls. Consider for a moment how different our lives would be during this pandemic if those technologies did not exist.

Yes, we are living in challenging and uncertain times. Yes, many of us are finding ourselves weary and tired of isolating, tired of keeping our distance, tired of not being with our most treasured family and friends. Yet if we continue to practice gratitude for the fact that our people remain just a phone call, text or video chat away, perhaps we can weather this storm with a little grace. If we continue to practice gratitude for the opportunity to reach out to friends we might not otherwise have had a chance to communicate with, perhaps we can forge stronger connections and expand our social networks as a result of this pandemic.

It may seem as though there is little to be thankful for right now. If we continue to practice gratitude for those on the front lines of this pandemic, the hospital workers, the police and firefighters, other essential workers, perhaps we can manage to get through this together.

The holidays are upon us and this time of year always reminds me to practice gratitude for my loved ones. While many of us may not be able to be with our loved ones physically this year because of the pandemic, we can be thankful for the opportunity to reach out in creative ways to keep our connections strong. Yes, being physically separated from our loved ones is difficult but perhaps we can be thankful for the opportunity to keep them safe by practicing social distancing.

It can be difficult to practice gratitude during times like this, for sure. But if we remember that gratitude is the birthplace of joy perhaps we can navigate this holiday season with grace. If we afford ourselves the opportunity to look at this pandemic as a chance to slow down and think about who and what is important to us, perhaps we can come out the other side of this stronger than before. If we look at this pandemic as a chance to really look at our lives and practice gratitude for that which truly is important to us perhaps we will triumph over the virus after all.

Over the past several years it seems as though we on so many levels have seen a swerve from treating each other with kindness, respect, dignity and compassion to treating each other with disdain, hatred and finger-pointing. I wonder what would happen if we took a turn back to treating each other with compassion and empathy.

Over the past several years, my heart has become exhausted from seeing and hearing the hate-filled rhetoric that has become so pervasive on social media and in our communities. I find hatred to be so tiresome. I find the increasing lack of compassion toward others exhausting. I find the lack of empathy for others’ thoughts and feelings wearing me down emotionally and physically.

Perhaps one of the reasons we seem to be lacking in compassion and empathy for others is because we are not quite sure what empathy looks like. Brene Brown, my social work hero, offers a good, short video explaining the difference between sympathy and empathy. I share it hear and invite you to watch:

Showing others empathy requires us to dig a little deeper and asks us to sit with others in their feelings, rather than patting someone on the back and saying, “There, there.” Offering empathy to someone who is hurting requires us to sit with others’ uncomfortable feelings in a non-judgmental way that allows our other to feel seen and heard. I wonder what our world would look like if we offered others who are hurting, others who are struggling, more compassion and empathy. I wonder what would happen if, when someone tells us she is struggling, we offer empathy instead of likening her experience to something we have been through.

One of the worst things someone can say to another who is hurting is, “I know how you feel.” No, actually, you do not know how that person feels. You can only know and really understand how someone feels if that person shares with you her thoughts and feelings. Offering compassion and empathy when she does requires us to sit with those feelings without judging her and without likening her experience to our own.

If we are to return to an era of compassion and empathy, we need to ask ourselves what we are doing to make this world a better place not just for ourselves but for those around us. Offering those around us, who are likely fighting battles we know nothing about, compassion and empathy costs us nothing. Offering compassion and empathy to those around us not only lifts up other people but helps us in the long run by allowing us to see that we are all struggling with something. Offering others compassion and empathy helps us by reminding us that we are wired for connection and that we make strong connections with others by being kind. How can you begin to offer those in your life more compassion and empathy? What can you do to show those around you that they are not alone in their struggles?

There is so much going on in the world right now, things that are beyond our control to some extent. We are in the midst of a global pandemic with COVID-19. In the United States, we are in the midst of a contentious election season. Many of us are facing an economic recession with high unemployment and have experienced layoffs or furloughs ourselves.

Many of us are feeling a loss of our sense of control these days which has led many people to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression. Those feelings can leave us feeling stuck, even crippled and unsure of how to regain control. But what would happen if instead of trying to control things, we released our need for control. What if we instead leaned in and radically accepted that the only thing we really have control over is ourselves, what we do, what we say and how we react to situations?

Radically accepting that the only thing we have control over is ourselves does not mean that we condone others’ poor behavior toward us or the things others say or do. Radical acceptance means we accept things as they are. We allow ourselves to buy in to the idea that some things simply are they way they are and will remain that way regardless of what we do or say. Radical acceptance requires us to relinquish our need for control over that which is beyond ourselves. It reminds me a bit of the serenity prayer.

Knowing the difference between the things we can change and the things we cannot can free us from feeling as though we need to control everything around us. The fact of the matter is, we cannot control every little thing. Some things just are the way they are. We can choose to accept that or we can fight that, but fighting that can lead to depression and anxiety.

If we choose to accept the fact that the only thing we really have control over is ourselves, we can liberate ourselves from the need to feel responsible for those around us. And in fact, we are not. Coming to that realization can help lift us out of depression and anxiety.

Radical acceptance can help us remember to stay positive regardless of the situation. It does not mean that every situation will be good. Rather, radical acceptance can help us remember that while not every situation will be good, we can be good with most situations if we release our need for control. We can control how we react to any given situation and choose to remain positive, knowing that whatever happens we will be okay in the long run.

In what areas of your life can you release your need for control? What can you do to free yourself of the need to control everything around you? Can you accept those things you cannot change? Can you recognize that the only thing you really have control over is yourself, what you say and what you do? Doing so might mean the difference between living with depression and anxiety and living your best life.