There is so much going on in the world right now, things that are beyond our control to some extent. We are in the midst of a global pandemic with COVID-19. In the United States, we are in the midst of a contentious election season. Many of us are facing an economic recession with high unemployment and have experienced layoffs or furloughs ourselves.

Many of us are feeling a loss of our sense of control these days which has led many people to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression. Those feelings can leave us feeling stuck, even crippled and unsure of how to regain control. But what would happen if instead of trying to control things, we released our need for control. What if we instead leaned in and radically accepted that the only thing we really have control over is ourselves, what we do, what we say and how we react to situations?

Radically accepting that the only thing we have control over is ourselves does not mean that we condone others’ poor behavior toward us or the things others say or do. Radical acceptance means we accept things as they are. We allow ourselves to buy in to the idea that some things simply are they way they are and will remain that way regardless of what we do or say. Radical acceptance requires us to relinquish our need for control over that which is beyond ourselves. It reminds me a bit of the serenity prayer.

Knowing the difference between the things we can change and the things we cannot can free us from feeling as though we need to control everything around us. The fact of the matter is, we cannot control every little thing. Some things just are the way they are. We can choose to accept that or we can fight that, but fighting that can lead to depression and anxiety.

If we choose to accept the fact that the only thing we really have control over is ourselves, we can liberate ourselves from the need to feel responsible for those around us. And in fact, we are not. Coming to that realization can help lift us out of depression and anxiety.

Radical acceptance can help us remember to stay positive regardless of the situation. It does not mean that every situation will be good. Rather, radical acceptance can help us remember that while not every situation will be good, we can be good with most situations if we release our need for control. We can control how we react to any given situation and choose to remain positive, knowing that whatever happens we will be okay in the long run.

In what areas of your life can you release your need for control? What can you do to free yourself of the need to control everything around you? Can you accept those things you cannot change? Can you recognize that the only thing you really have control over is yourself, what you say and what you do? Doing so might mean the difference between living with depression and anxiety and living your best life.