Not too long ago, I started practicing guided meditations to help calm my mind and to relieve stress. It has taken some practice but I have found that the more often I practice, the more I have come to understand how important it is to practice taking time to just rest. I am coming to learn that it is okay to simply be.

How many of us find that we feel as though we must hustle for our worthiness? How many of us feel as though we have to be constantly going, doing, moving to earn validation for our being? How many of us find it difficult to give ourselves permission to just be?

I have been working with someone for several months now who found that his drive to constantly be doing more and more led to him feeling so burned out that he had to take a sabbatical and then switch jobs. He has come to the realization during his sabbatical that it is okay to take time just for him to rest. I tried to assure him that this is perfectly acceptable. Our minds and bodies will tell us when it is necessary to rest. If we fail to listen to our bodies, we run the risk of burnout. I tried to remind this fellow that we are human beings, not human doings.

I tried to remind this fellow, as well as others with whom I am working, that our worth is not dependent upon how much we do. We are inherently worthy of love and belonging simply because we are human. We do not have to constantly be doing more and more and more to deserve love. We just have to be.

What happens if you start making time in your busy schedule to just rest? What happens if you take five or 10 or 15 minutes to just be? Perhaps if you do, you might find that you are better able to tackle whatever else is on your to-do list. Perhaps you might feel recharged. Perhaps you might feel more equipped to go on with the rest of your day. Perhaps you might feel rejuvenated.

Your worth as a human being does not depend on how long your to-do list is. Your worth as a human being does not depend on how many items you cross off that list. Your worth as a human being does not depend on how busy you are. It is okay to stop and rest. It is okay to take time to just be, to just be you.

I wonder what would happen if you started practicing guided meditation and/or mindfulness. There are several ways to go about doing so, several apps you could consider downloading that offer mindfulness exercises. It may feel strange and uncomfortable at first, but I suspect the more often you practice meditation, not only will you find it less uncomfortable but the more you will come to appreciate and benefit from taking time to just be. You deserve some time in your busy day to stop, rest and recharge your batteries. After all, you are a human being, not a human doing.

May has been and continues to be Mental Health Awareness Month in the United States and abroad. Currently in the United States nearly one in five people live with mental illness at any given time. The COVID-19 pandemic has left many people struggling with depression, anxiety and trauma responses. Know that it is okay to struggle and it also is okay to seek out a mental health professional to process your feelings.

Living with mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety can leave one feeling isolated and alone, unsure of themselves and the world around them. Seeking help can mean the difference between feeling as though you are simply existing and living a life with meaning. I myself made the journey from mental illness to mental wellness and continue to tend to my mental health on a daily basis. I long had struggled with anorexia, bipolar disorder and anxiety. It finally dawned on me one day while in the hospital being treated for bipolar disorder that I did not have to play victim to my mental health concerns. I realized that the thing that needed to change was me, not the world around me and so took steps to take charge of my mental health.

Along my mental health journey and now in my career as a social worker, I have come to glean some lessons that you might find helpful. Here are some of the things I have learned:

• Your worth as a human being is not determined by the things you own, the shape of your body or the number on a scale.

• “No” is a complete sentence and you have the right to say that without explanation.

• You are worthy of love and belonging simply because you are human. You do not have to hustle to earn your worth.

• It is okay to walk away from anyone who does not add to your life.

• It takes far more courage to ask for help than it does to suffer in silence.

• There are people who care and it is okay to reach out when you need help.

• If you constantly strive for perfection, you likely more than not will always find yourself disappointed. Nothing is perfect. There is beauty in your imperfections.

• It is difficult to offer compassion to others if you cannot offer yourself compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself and know that you are doing the best you can with what you have right now.

• Self-care is not selfish. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself so that you can be better able to take care of those you love.

• You are responsible for your own happiness. If you want a better life, make better choices.

Taking charge of your mental health means that you may have to course-correct to change long-held beliefs that affect the way you think about yourself and the world around you. You may have to dig deep and it may be uncomfortable. It takes courage to change but it is so worth it. You deserve to live a happy, healthy life. What steps can you take to improve your mental health? Are you ready to be the victor of your life instead of the victim?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Today is the day we celebrate mothers, but for some people Mother’s Day can be extremely difficult. For those who have lost their mothers, those who had or have strained relationships with their mothers, those who yearn to be mothers but are not, this day can be hard to navigate.

When celebrating this day, it is important to remember that not everyone still has a living mother and that not every woman is a mother. Instead of saying, “Happy Mother’s Day” to every woman you meet, perhaps instead consider saying simply, “Enjoy your day.”

So many people I know already have lost their mothers and this day can be bittersweet. For those of us who have lost our mothers, try to remember the good times you shared with your mom. I lost my mother nearly nine years ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Our relationship was not always what I hoped it would be, but I can be thankful for her in the knowledge that she did the best she could with what she had at the time.

For those who yearned to be mothers, but for reasons that are extremely personal, cannot be, this day can be very painful. Try to remember with compassion, love and understanding those who wished to become mothers but could not. Those who are childless may have desperately wanted children and seeing you and your mother together today can be hard for these women. Some mothers may already have lost a child or children. Remember them on this day.

Many children have had strained relationships with their mothers and celebrating on this day may not be a realistic option. For some people, the relationship they have with their mother is complicated. Their relationships with their mothers may have been abusive verbally, physically or even sexually. Remember this when you offer your holiday greetings.

For those of you whose mothers still are living and with whom you have a good relationship, I hope you enjoy your day. Remember how lucky you are to be with your mother on this day and every day.