Today is the day we celebrate mothers, but for some people Mother’s Day can be extremely difficult. For those who have lost their mothers, those who had or have strained relationships with their mothers, those who yearn to be mothers but are not, this day can be hard to navigate.

When celebrating this day, it is important to remember that not everyone still has a living mother and that not every woman is a mother. Instead of saying, “Happy Mother’s Day” to every woman you meet, perhaps instead consider saying simply, “Enjoy your day.”

So many people I know already have lost their mothers and this day can be bittersweet. For those of us who have lost our mothers, try to remember the good times you shared with your mom. I lost my mother nearly nine years ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Our relationship was not always what I hoped it would be, but I can be thankful for her in the knowledge that she did the best she could with what she had at the time.

For those who yearned to be mothers, but for reasons that are extremely personal, cannot be, this day can be very painful. Try to remember with compassion, love and understanding those who wished to become mothers but could not. Those who are childless may have desperately wanted children and seeing you and your mother together today can be hard for these women. Some mothers may already have lost a child or children. Remember them on this day.

Many children have had strained relationships with their mothers and celebrating on this day may not be a realistic option. For some people, the relationship they have with their mother is complicated. Their relationships with their mothers may have been abusive verbally, physically or even sexually. Remember this when you offer your holiday greetings.

For those of you whose mothers still are living and with whom you have a good relationship, I hope you enjoy your day. Remember how lucky you are to be with your mother on this day and every day.