I recently have found myself working with several clients who are struggling with perfectionism and how that affects their lives. So many of us struggle with perfectionism, stemming in part from our childhoods and our need to be loved. What happens when we come to the understanding that we do not have to be perfect in order to be worthy of love and belonging? What happens when we let go of our need to be perfect?

Perfectionism often is borne of shame and so often is something we engage in because we feel we have to be perfect in order to be worthy. How has perfectionism manifested in your life? Do you tend to go above and beyond the call of duty to prove you are worthy at work or in your relationships? Do you bend over backwards for other people for fear that if you do not you will not be liked or loved?

Many people who struggle with perfectionism often find themselves also struggling with depression and anxiety, as well as a constant feeling of being disappointed or let down. It is good to remember that nothing in life is perfect. We as human beings are perfectly imperfect yet still worthy of love and belonging.

How is perfectionism playing a role in your life? Is it holding you back from engaging in activities because you feel you have to be perfect in order to enjoy them? Do you procrastinate on projects because you feel that something has to be done perfectly? TED Ed recently issued this report and quiz on perfectionism … https://ideas.ted.com/quiz-is-your-inner-perfectionist-running-your-life/ .

I encourage you to take a look at this article and quiz to see if you find yourself in it. Many of us engage in perfectionism but if we stop to think about how perfectionism is affecting our lives it can be easier to come to the understanding that we do not have to be perfect. Perfection is unattainable. Perfection is boring. You may find that if you constantly strive for perfection, you often will find yourself feeling disappointed.

I am not saying that we should strive for mediocrity. It is good to strive to do your best, at work, at home and in your relationships. It is good to do the best you can with what you have right now. That does not mean you have to be perfect. Remember that doing your best is all anyone can ask for, even you.

You can begin to let go of perfectionism by offering yourself grace and compassion for being the perfectly imperfect human that you are. We were not created to be perfect and it is good to remember that despite our flaws, we are worthy of love and belonging. You do not have to be perfect to be loved. You are loved because you are imperfect. You are loved because you are human.

What steps can you take to let go of perfectionism? Can you try to remind yourself that you are worthy of love and belonging simply because you are human?