Tomorrow marks Independence Day in the United States and while it may not feel like it for many people considering recent rulings by the Supreme Court, there still is much we can do to celebrate our remaining freedoms.

When we think about independence and freedom, different things come up for different people. Merriam-Webster defines independence as “the quality or state of being independent.” This can mean any number of things from personal independence to societal independence, political independence, religious independence and so on. I am more curious about what independence means for you.

I am working with several clients who seem to find it difficult to do things on their own, largely because of a fear of how they will be perceived by others. Some people find themselves feeling anxious going to the movies, for a cup of coffee or out to dinner by themselves because they are fearful that others will perceive them negatively. What if the opposite were true? What if instead people viewed you as strong, empowered and brave? What if instead people viewed you as courageous and independent?

How many of us hold ourselves back by believing we can’t do things on our own? How many of us find ourselves feeling pangs of regret because we convinced ourselves that we could not possibly do this, that or the other thing by ourselves? How many of us have repeatedly told ourselves that we cannot go here or there without someone else and then felt sad that we missed out on what could have been a beautiful adventure? What if the only thing holding you back from realizing how strong you are is you?

I understand that doing something on your own or going somewhere by yourself can sometimes be a bit frightening, but nothing ever grows in our comfort zones. If you want to be a strong, independent person you have to embrace risk, even if that means risking embarrassment, which is a temporary feeling. If you want to be a strong, independent person, you have to take steps to overcome your fear of what others may be thinking of you. Likely more than not, most people are not thinking of you in any negative way.

What steps might you be able to take to assert your own independence this 4th of July holiday? Could you take yourself to see some fireworks? Could you go to your community swimming pool by yourself? Could you go your town’s parade on your own? Could you take yourself out for ice cream? There is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of others. There is something to be said, though, for finding your courage and doing things on your own. I suspect that doing so will help you gain not just a sense of independence, but a sense of power.

Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP