My husband and I recently took at trip to Cape Cod to celebrate our approaching 25th wedding anniversary, making room for both of us to step outside our comfort zones. As creatures of habit and routine, both of us found the trip exhilarating and eye-opening. You see, to travel we both had to do a bit of growing.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love being near the water but as someone who is a very poor swimmer, I do not like being in the water. My husband and I had booked this trip to Cape Cod with the intention of going on a whale watching boat trip and we very much were looking forward to it. The day came for the trip, and on that day, the Atlantic Ocean was a bit rough with six to eight foot swells. When we boarded the boat for the trip, my husband encouraged us to sit up top, outside in the elements. It was cold and quite windy. I balked at first, wanting to say below where it was warm and out of the elements. Realizing that this would only leave me within my comfort zone, I agreed to join him on the upper, outdoor level of the boat.

The water was choppy that day, going both to our whale watching area and on the return trip back to Provincetown, MA. To say that I was merely frightened would be an understatement of epic proportions. I was terrified, of being cast overboard, of losing my belongings, of losing my husband to the angry seas. I did it anyway, and because of that got a better view of the roughly 15 whales and a sunfish that graced us with their presence.

Had I not met my fear with courage and compassion, I likely would not have encountered the whales the same way had I stayed inside in the warmth of the boat. Had I not met my fear head on, the trip could have been much different.

Meeting our fears with compassion requires us to spend some time exploring why we are afraid and to consider the likelihood that the worst-case scenario really will happen. Was I really going to be cast overboard into shark-infested waters? Was I really going to lost my husband to the ocean? Probably not.

When we meet our fears with compassion and curiosity, we may find that some of that fear melts away. What is the likelihood that the worst thing will happen? Will we be uncomfortable as we confront our fears? Probably so but nothing ever grows in our comfort zones.

I am very glad I chose to sit up top with my husband on the whale watching tour. Had I not, I shudder to think about what I may have missed. This trip opened my eyes to the possibility of change and the opportunity to grow. What fears might you be able to consider with compassion and curiosity? What might you be able to learn should you choose to step outside your comfort zone?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

I thought October 11, 2010 was a good day to die. Instead, it turned out to be the day I was reborn. You see, I had lived with profound depression for 20 years before waking up one April morning in 2009 in a full-blown manic episode. My mood was severely elevated. I felt invincible. I had never felt this way before, as though I were super human. I had never felt so good in my whole life. But there was a down side. For the ensuing 18 months, I behaved badly, doing things I normally would never have done. Some of the things I did are, frankly, too embarrassing to share.

On October 11, 2010, I crashed. The manic episode ended. Everything came to a screeching halt. The depression came back with a vengeance and I felt like I had nowhere to turn and no one to talk to. I was lost. I ended up attempting suicide and landed in hospital for more than two weeks. That experience changed my life, so much for the better.

That experience taught me that no one can make me well, I have to make myself well. When I first started going to therapy more than 20 years ago, I looked to my therapist to provide me the answers to my life, to tell me who I am. Since then, I have learned that all the answers are inside me if I can find the courage to look hard enough. My therapist gave me the tools to get well, I just had to find the courage to use them every day to stay well.

Recovery is about more than just wanting to be well. It is about doing the work of recovery every day to stay well. It means using our coping skills as best we can. It means reminding ourselves that is okay to have a bad day as long as we do not unpack and live there. It means reminding ourselves that we are more than our diagnoses. It means that we still may experience symptoms of depression and bipolar disorder but those are just symptoms, they are not who we are. We are so much more than depression and bipolar disorder.

I will never forget those very bad, horrible, rotten blue days or my 18-month manic episode. Those days brought me to where I am today and I am thankful for them. Those days made me who I am. I bear those scars with pride. If it were not for the bad days, I would not be able to appreciate the good days. I am grateful for that period of my life.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that we are not given more than we are able to bear. I often used to wonder, “Why me?” Now I know that the better question to ask is, “Why not me?” I live with mental illness because I am strong enough to deal with it. But it takes daily effort to manage my mental illness. It is a constant battle, but a battle I am willing to wage because it is my life I am fighting for and my life is worth living. I know now that every day is a precious gift. I can choose to live my life or I can choose to lament my condition and wallow in my symptoms. I choose the former. I choose to embrace my life and continue to do the work of recovery.

I choose to share my story in the hopes that the more we talk openly and honestly about mental illness, the weaker stigma will become. I truly believe that mental illnesses are treatable medical conditions and the more we talk about mental illness, the more people will come to understand that we who live with them are simply people battling an illness as people who live with cancer or diabetes battle illness. We who live with mental illness can lead happy, healthy productive lives. We do not have to be slaves to our symptoms or live as victims of our illnesses. We can become victors of our lives by practicing self-care and using our coping skills to overcome our symptoms. We can become the people we always were meant to be and manage our illnesses as do people who live with other treatable conditions.

It is difficult for me to give up summer, as it is for many people. Summer is my favorite of the season as I often feel a sort of weightlessness about life during the warmer weather months. Summer seems less heavy to me than the cooler weather months. But often, while lamenting summer’s end, I do try to recognize the beauty of autumn and what autumn represents. Autumn affords us the opportunity to welcome change and to let go of the things that weigh us down.

Like the seasons, life affords us similar opportunities. Life is about change. It is about evolution. We can lament the end of one season and be slow to accept the new beauty of the next or we can do so with grace and recognize that we can change and grow, we can evolve. We as human beings are constantly changing. We are not the same person we were five or 10 years ago. We may not be the same people we were yesterday and we may be a new version of ourselves tomorrow.

One of the things I like best about the changing seasons of ourselves is that if we allow it, we can come to realize that welcoming change and letting go of the things that may be weighing us down can mean so many things. For some, it may mean taking a leap of faith and changing careers. For others, it may mean taking up new hobbies or taking a class. For others still, it may mean letting go of relationships that no longer serve us. All of this may be challenging, but the less we fight change the easier it is to become the people we always were meant to be.

It can be hard to engage in change, but I am convinced that doing so moves us closer to who we really want to be, who we are meant to be. Yes, changing careers can be scary and doing so takes a lot of courage. But if you no longer are passionate about or enjoying your work, doing so may be your best next move. Taking up a new hobby may require hours of practice and some trial and error, but in the end your horizons will be broadened and you could be better for it.

Letting go of relationships that no longer serve us could prove even more challenging. People become part of us. If you stop and ask yourself about the purpose certain people serve in your life, you may come to realize that some of your relationships no longer serve you. You may come to realize that some of your relationships are lopsided or transactional or one-dimensional. You may come to realize that some of your relationships leave you feeling worse about yourself and your life more so than they do good about yourself and your life. Part of embracing change means giving credence to these realizations and either changing the way you interact with such people or distancing yourself from those people. Maybe it means setting and enforcing better boundaries. Maybe it means ending the relationship.

The change of seasons can serve as a wake-up call to really evaluate ourselves and our lives. What is working for you and what, really, is not? Are you happy in your work? In your relationships? Do you need to make some kind of change to find your way to happiness and to become the person you want to be and were meant to be? Embracing change means focusing on the possibilities that newness affords us. Embracing change means that you are open to evolving as a human being. It means stepping outside of your comfort zone, or discomfort zone, as the case may be. Embracing change means that you are willing to welcome new opportunities to grow as a person. Are you able to do that? Can you take a step toward change and do something your future self will thank you for?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP