Recently in both my personal life and my professional life, I have been confronted with adversity. I suspect I am not alone in this. It often seems as though not-so-great news comes to us in waves and can sometimes feel as though we are about to be knocked over and drawn deep into the ocean. The thing about adversity is that we can choose to let it drown us or we can choose to move with the waves and see where the waters will take us.

It may seem to some when we are faced with adversity, challenges or come upon what appears to be a string of bad news that we haven’t the strength to endure, to power through or grit. The thing about adversity is, it sometimes is a temporary condition. If we can give ourselves permission to see ourselves through adversity, we may just well come out stronger on the other side. If we fight the waves, we likely will be pulled under the water. If we move with them, we can find our way back to shore safely.

How we respond to adversity matters. We can choose to throw up our hands and scream, “I give up!” Or, we can choose to ask ourselves how we can best manage what can sometimes feel like a never-ending barrage of bad news. As Angela Duckworth says, we have to know when to quit and when to grit. But, how do we determine when to throw in the towel and when to use that towel to wipe the sweat off our faces and move on?

Of course, this depends on what it is that you are confronted with. Recently, I and several members of my family have received fairly bad news about our health. How we choose to respond to that news can mean either we give up and let nature take its course or we can choose to consult with medical professionals and learn to manage our symptoms. I, personally, choose the latter as I hope to live a very long life. It matters how we choose to respond to challenging news, events or situations. Doing so may require that we pause and really think about how we want to respond to said news, event or challenge. We can choose to view these things as an ending point or a starting point. What does that mean? Well, it means we can choose to view adversity as something insurmountable or we can choose to view it as part of a larger story, part of our unique story. Perhaps adversity means the ending of one chapter of our story and the start of a whole new chapter, showing us how strong we can be in the face of adversity.

Of course, some news is worse than other news. Receiving a diagnosis of Stage 4 cancer or something that cannot be cured, fixed with surgery or managed with physical therapy, can leave us with the feeling as though we are drowning in very rough seas with no hope of rescue. This can be very frightening and leave us feeling anxious, stressed and overwhelmed. It is okay to ask for help with such news, be that from a family member, friend, doctor or mental health professional. We can navigate adversity by reaching out for assistance when needed. Sometimes managing adversity means recognizing that it is okay to ask for help and knowing that we are not alone.

Most of us at some point will find ourselves in troubled waters. That is part of life. None of us has it easy all of the time. Most of us struggle. Most of us will be faced with challenges. Most of us will face adversity. What matters is how we respond to it. Yes, some news can feel catastrophic and, sadly, some news actually is catastrophic. Sometimes it may seem that every time we turn around, we receive more bad news, be it about our health or that of a loved one, be it about our jobs, our housing or what have you. We can choose to let those troubled waters drown us or we can ride the waves and find our way back to shore. That may mean reaching out for help. That may mean asking someone for a life jacket. That is okay. It takes more courage to ask for help than it does to suffer in silence.

Life, as it turns out, is rarely always easy. We can choose to quit or we can choose to grit. Depending on the circumstances and what tools you have in your tool belt, it may be better to grit than to quit. The choice is yours. How would you like to choose how to face adversity? What might you do to manage the challenges that life throws at you? What steps can you take to navigate troubled waters?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Life can be tricky. We want to do our best at work and also make time to socialize and to practice self-care and to take care of those we love. Sometimes, finding a way to manage all these things can feel nearly impossible or overwhelming. Life requires us to create some measure of balance when we notice we are feeling overwhelmed by all the things.

That begs the question of what is balance? What does that even mean in a go-go-go society where it seems things never slow down? Balance means, of course, different things to different people. For some it means equal parts work, socializing, taking care of things around the house and practicing self-care. For others balance may mean taking care of loved ones, working, making time to take care of physical and mental health. We all have different priorities so balance means different things for different people.

We may notice that we feel out of balance when we are spending more time taking care of work or caring for family and friends more so than we are taking care of ourselves. Those feelings can lead to compassion fatigue or feeling burned out. Perhaps that should be taken as a sign that some attention needs to be paid to the ranking of your priorities. Perhaps that means your life is imbalanced.

When it feels as though our lives have become imbalanced, attention must be paid to where we are directing our physical, mental and emotional energies. We do not find balance; we create balance. Perhaps that means eking out a little more time to practice self-care or cutting back on socializing. Perhaps that means the opposite. If you find you are neglecting things that have to get done, such as paying bills, practicing house hygiene or completing tasks for work, perhaps that means more energy could be directed toward those things.

We need balance in our lives so that we do not feel off-kilter. When it starts to feel that our lives are out of hand, that our lives have somehow become unmanageable, it may be time to take a look at our to-do lists, our priorities list and re-evaluate what is most important to us. Naturally, practicing self-care is important but doing so should be in balance with our other priorities and with taking care of those we love.

When you think of balance, what comes up for you? Is there an area or two of your life that seems out of balance? Do you need to redirect your attention to something that needs taken care of? Is it time to re-evaluate your priorities? Balance is not something that happens to us; it is something we create for ourselves.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP