I recently met with someone at work who was left feeling angry after being threatened with a punishment for a mistake that to him seemed unfair. After working through some of his feelings, it dawned on me that underneath that protecting feeling of anger was a more uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness. Many of us feel powerless from time to time for a variety of reasons. The question is, how do we get our power back?

So many things in life can leave us feeling powerless. That feeling can leave us feeling without strength or resources or as though we lack the authority or autonomy to act on our own behalf. Powerlessness can feel akin to helplessness, although is different in subtle ways. Feeling helpless can mean that we are out of control and unable to maintain some sense of control. Feelings of powerlessness can result in angry outbursts, tears, feeling overwhelmed with stress or anxiety and can lead to panic attacks or depression.

Those feelings of powerlessness can stem from trauma, feeling as though we have been wronged or feeling as though a situation is unjust. Feelings of powerlessness can also stem from feeling as though we haven’t the ability to manage our future or destiny. We can regain our sense of power by remembering situations that left us feeling powerful and by tapping into what was happening at that time.

When we remember who we are and all our wonderful talents, skills and abilities, we are better able to regain a feeling of being powerful and strong. We all have been bestowed with unique talents, skills and abilities that help us manage not just our day-to-day stressors but those that come along and seem to knock us off our feet. Perhaps you have encountered a series of obstacles professionally, personally or perhaps both. What skills do you have to navigate those obstacles? Do you consider those obstacles road blocks or speed bumps that if you go over gently, will leave little damage?

Feelings of powerlessness can make it more challenging to remember all we have overcome in the past. If we give ourselves permission to pause and think about how we may have navigated a similarly challenging situation in the past, we may feel more confident to manage that current stressful situation and thus feel more empowered.

One of the ways we can boost our feelings of power is to practice positive self-talk and positive self-affirmations. When we are faced with stressful situations or speed bumps in our lives, we may find that we start going downhill in a spiral of negative self-talk and we may let our nasty inner critic take over. If we pause and remember our talents, skills and abilities and speak to ourselves kindly, we may find ourselves feeling more powerful and able to handle whatever comes our way. Yes, some things may be outside of our control and coming to a place of acceptance is an important part of regaining our sense of control. Think about what you do have control over and take steps to do what you can to navigate the situation.

Another way we can combat feelings of powerlessness is to practice good self-care. Navigating stressful situations can feel exponentially more difficult if we have not taken the time to care for ourselves in healthy ways. If you are facing health concerns that are outside of your control, perhaps consider healthy ways of taking care of yourself that feel good to you. If you are facing a stressful situation at work, consider taking a short break to walk outside if that is available to you. If your personal life feels overwhelming, perhaps consider connecting with trusted others on whom you can rely emotionally.

I suspect many of us feel powerless from time to time. The trick to regain a sense of power is to remember your talents, skills and abilities, practicing positive self-talk and positive self-affirmations and to make sure you are practicing healthy self-care. It is important when we are feeling powerless to remember times when we faced similar situations in the past and how we managed to get through them. What unique abilities do you have that you can tap into to feel more empowered? What skills do you have that set you apart? How can you best take care of yourself so that you are better able to manage stressful situations?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP