We are just about three weeks into the new year and some folks who made New Year’s resolutions may be starting to see results. Others, though, may have found that their resolutions have fallen by the wayside. Many of us tend to leave our resolutions behind after just a few weeks, but why is that?

Part of the reason so many New Year’s resolutions tend to fail is because they are either too lofty or require so much change that the mere idea of them can feel daunting. Another reason our annual resolutions fail is because they require too much change in too short a time. Change, for many people, can be a bit scary. This can be true if our resolution is to exercise more, eat healthier, set time limits on social media or even to socialize more. Some resolutions fail because they are not specific enough and do not come with small, measurable goals.

Many people make New Year’s resolutions, and some people do stick with them. Those who do often do so because they opt to make their resolutions more attainable by setting small, measurable goals that they can achieve. For example, if your New Year’s resolutions was to “eat healthier,” consider what that actually means to you. Does that mean eating vegetables four days a week or limiting animal protein to two days a week or incorporating fruits into your diet more days than not? What exactly is your goal? Your goal should be quantifiable. Your resolution also must include your “why.” Why do you want to eat healthier or exercise more or limit your time on social media? What is the benefit to changing your behavior and how do you hope you will feel if you do change?

When struggling to stick to a New Year’s resolution, or simply a goal to change a behavior, it is well to focus on what will be gained by this change, be it a new behavior or changing a behavior. We may also do well to consider how we will feel if we do not stick to our resolution or goal. Will we feel as though we’ve let ourselves down if we do not make this change? Will we be letting others down?

For some people, change can feel really challenging. It sometimes can be helpful to remember all the times from the past that you were able to successfully change a behavior or pattern or your thinking. Many of us make small changes frequently without ever really noticing that we’ve done so. This is how habits sometimes are formed. Making changes often involves changing our habits or incorporating new ones into our lives, and we do that when something really is important to us.

Think about your New Year’s resolutions. How important is it to you to make that change, and what are you wiling to do to get there? If something is really important to us, we can often make that happen, if we start out with small, measurable goals that feel attainable.

You may already be seeing some success with your New Year’s resolutions, or you may have found you already have lost interest in some of them. That should tell you that perhaps that goal was a bit too lofty or perhaps now is not the time to tackle that. Remember that when you want to make a change, it is important to consider why you want to do so and what you are willing to do to make that happen. Change can be good, if changing means we will become better versions of ourselves.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP