We are just two days into the new year and already I am hearing from people who are feeling stressed to the point of burnout, and as though the holiday season has left them feeling more tired than relaxed. I also am hearing from people sharing that their feelings of stress and anxiety and burnout and exhaustion have meant an increase in engaging in addictive behaviors as a way to somehow cope.

Those behaviors may have served a purpose at some point, but many people are finding that those same behaviors (such as consuming alcohol, marijuana or other substances, gambling, shopping or watching pornography) no longer are helping as much as they used to, or even at all. In many case, these behaviors are making things worse at home, work and school, with our family, friends and loved ones.

So why do we turn to such behaviors when, at best, they only work temporarily? Well, we do so because they once seemed to work for a while and we hope that they still will. Problem is just that: they only work temporarily and then we’re back to Square One.

We often turn to our addictive behaviors when we are feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired. In fact, many Twelve Step programs remind us of the acronym HALT to give us pause when we are thinking about engaging in one or more of our addictive behaviors. If we can give ourselves permission to think about what we really are feeling and what we really are needing, we sometimes can avoid engaging in the self-destructive behaviors of any type of addiction.

For many people, reminding themselves of the HALT acronym can be helpful. Sometimes, though, there is more than just hungry, angry, lonely or tired going on. Sometimes, there’s also boredom or stress. If we try to remember to HALT the BS, we may be even more successful at taming our self-destructive behaviors.

Some people find that when they’re bored, they also engage in self-destructive behaviors because they feel as though they have nothing else to do. What could happen instead of engaging in self-destructive behavior is reaching out to someone, playing a game with friends either online or in real life, baking, knitting or going for a walk or run.

Often, when people are feeling stressed, they turn to those things that somehow bring them some measure of comfort. That could be using alcohol or other substances, binge eating, shopping, watching pornography, or gambling. But it could mean engaging in exercise, meditation or calling a friend or family member, or watching a movie or reading a good book.

We can remind ourselves that while our self-destructive behaviors may once have served a purpose in our lives when we have felt hungry, angry, lonely, tired, bored or stressed, those behaviors ultimately usually leave us feeling worse, setting ourselves up for self-shaming and negative self-talk (which perpetuates the cycle of using). If we can give ourselves permission to think about what we really are feeling and what we really need, we can avoid engaging in behaviors that likely more than not will leave us feeling worse.

Is it time for you to HALT the BS? What are you really feeling? What do you really need? Is it time to reach out to someone? To eat healthy food? Is it time to think about why you are feeling angry and what a healthy response to that anger would be? Do you need some good sleep? Are you bored? Are you stressed? What healthy coping skills might you turn to to HALT the BS?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP