March 2025 – phoenixrisenblog

For many people, spring can be a season of renewal. Many people approach this new season with hopes of spring cleaning their homes, decluttering and making their spaces tidy and comfortable to live in. But, can this also be a time to spring clean your mind?

What could it look, sound and feel like to do a little spring cleaning of the mind?

For starters, it could look like replacing some of your negative self-talk with positive self-talk. This could take the form of thought stopping, or literally saying “stop” when we notice ourselves going down the rabbit hole of negative self-talk or self-shaming talk. This also could mean practicing positive self-affirmations, whether that is in our minds or out loud so our brains can hear. Remember that your brain is listening to everything you say to yourself, all day, every day, so it is important to speak kindly to yourself.

Spring cleaning the mind also could mean ridding ourselves of all the negativity that we encounter on social media. Maybe that means whittling down your friends list to include only those people with whom you have a real connection, or cutting out those folks who engage in negativity. For some, that may mean a social media detox of anything from a few days to a few weeks, to a few months or even forever. For some people, a social media detox can mean setting a time limit for consumption, be it just a few minutes to an hour. Taking a break from social media can help us reset and regroup, and really think about who and what is important to us.

For some people, a spring cleaning of the mind can mean abandoning unrealistic or perfectionistic goals. Maybe this means rethinking what some of your goals are, really giving some thought to what is and what is not feasible given your current situation. Maybe that means giving some thought to what it is you really want to accomplish, and setting small goals along the way to that one big goal. This also can include some self-compassion, particularly if you found a goal to be impossible to reach at this stage in life.

A good mental spring cleaning also could mean letting go of the need to be everything and everywhere for people who either unwilling or unable to reciprocate. Maybe that means setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life. Maybe that means saying “no” to the things and people who no longer bring you joy. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and is in no way selfish. Boundaries teach others how to respect us. This also could mean asking for help with caregiving, specific tasks or chores around the house or yard. Asking for help takes more courage than does suffering in silence.

Spring can be a time of renewal for many people. In addition to noticing flowers start to bloom, perhaps this can be a time to offer your mind a chance to bloom into healthy thoughts and actions. Letting go of unrealistic goals and expectations of and for yourself and others is a beautiful way to embrace the new season. Offering yourself a chance to really think about who and what is important in your life can make transitioning into this new season a time of real renewal. What might you be able to do to spring clean your mind?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

We as humans are great at telling stories. Telling stories is one of the ways we share with other humans. We share stories to let others know who we are, where we come from, what our hopes and dreams are. We tell stories to connect with others. But what happens when we start telling ourselves stories?

Sometimes, we can tell ourselves great stories about where we’ve come from and where we’re headed. Those can be good stories, depending on how we shape our narratives. Other stories, though, can be rife with half-truths or complete malarkey. Many of us tell ourselves stories to avoid pain, to attempt to control a narrative, to give ourselves the illusion that we are in control of something we actually have little to no control over. These are the stories we might want to avoid.

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories in an attempt to make ourselves feel better about a particular situation, or person, or event. We may believe these stories are true, but are they really? Do you have evidence to prove that your story is true? Or, are you filling in gaps of knowledge or information with something that may seem to make sense but isn’t backed up with evidence?

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories to avoid having to change ourselves. This can happen when we place the blame for a situation or event on someone else. Doing so can leave us with a story in our heads that absolves us of the responsibility for someone else’s hurt feelings. And, yes, while we are not responsible for another person’s feelings, we can contribute to a person’s feelings. When we absolve ourselves of the responsibility for hurting someone emotionally, verbally, mentally or physically, and tell ourselves that we are not to blame when we, in fact, are to blame, we’re attempting to control a narrative that we just don’t like. Doing so can leave that other person even more hurt. Sometimes, what needs to happen is that we make an apology or change our behavior.

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories that keep us stuck in a situation, like an abusive or unsatisfying, toxic, or dangerous relationship. We tell ourselves that no one else will love us, that we are unworthy of love, that we can’t leave. These stories can keep us stuck in something when we deserve better, which, in fact, we do.

We all tell ourselves stories. Some are good and some are not. When we fill in gaps of information or knowledge with stories without looking for evidence to support our stories, we run the risk of getting stuck in a narrative that likely is not helpful to ourselves or other people. Be wary of the stories you are telling yourself, and make sure you have evidence to support your stories.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

phoenixrisenblog

positive thinking for better mental health

Month: March 2025

Is it time to spring clean your mind?

Be careful of the stories you tell yourself