From time to time, most people notice feeling anxious. In the United States alone, some 40 million people live with anxiety at any given time. Many people, though, often do not quite understand that their anxiety is trying to tell them.

How do we know when we’re feeling anxious? We may notice that our heart seems to be beating faster, that we feel nauseous or faint or lightheaded. We may notice that we start to perspire. We may notice that we are feeling out of control.

Anxiety can stem from many things, including work, family, friends, driving, flying or the possibility of health concerns. Anxiety tells us that there is something to be feared, or that we are in a dangerous situation. More often than not, though, what we are facing is less dangerous than it is uncomfortable. It might behoove you to remember that discomfort does not necessarily mean danger. Anxiety tries to convince us that that presentation we have to give is dangerous or that that mammogram we have to have will tell us we have cancer or that our plane will crash on the way to Italy. Are these things possible? Perhaps. Are these things likely? Perhaps not.

The thing about anxiety is that it tells us that if we worry enough about these things, we can somehow control the outcome. Anxiety tells us that we can somehow control the future or what other people think, say or do. Anxiety tells us that if we do this, that or the other thing, we can assert some control over what happens next. The fact of the matter is, though, that we have little to no control over the future or other people, in large part because people are often unpredictable.

When we try to control the future by performing certain behaviors or acts, what we are trying to do is rid ourselves of the worry about the future. If instead we try to remember what we really do have control over—what we think, say or do—we may start to feel a bit less anxious.

How do we manage symptoms of anxiety or approach situations with less anxiety. One of the ways to manage those pesky symptoms of anxiety is to remember to breathe. Oftentimes, when we feel anxious we may notice that we are holding our breath or breathing shallowly. If we give ourselves permission to slow down, take a few deep breaths that are longer on the exhale than the inhale, we can slow down our central nervous system and get out of fight or flight mode and start to feel less anxious. We also can remind ourselves to really look at the situation before us. Is it really dangerous or is it uncomfortable? This may require us to pause for a few moments and really get in touch with that feeling of anxiety, and that is okay.

Another way to manage symptoms of anxiety is to create some space and distance between us and that feeling of anxiety. If we say to ourselves, “Oh, I’m so anxious!” what likely will happen is that we will start to feel more anxious because we are identifying with that feeling of anxiety. If instead we say, “Oh, I notice that I am feeling anxious,” we create some distance between us and that feeling of anxiety. We start to feel less anxious.

Anxiety is like other feelings, and what feelings do is provide us with information about certain situations. It may do well to listen to your body and tend to your body’s needs. Is your anxiety leaving you feeling nauseous? Lightheaded? As though your heart is beating faster? These symptoms may be telling you that you need to take a breath. If we listen to our bodies, they will tell us what we need.

Millions of people on this planet live with anxiety. Most of us will feel anxious from time to time. That is normal. Anxiety provides information about the situation we are facing. That feeling of anxiety, like all feelings, provides data, information. If we can give ourselves permission to slow down, breathe, and really assess the situation, we may find that what we are facing really is more uncomfortable than it is dangerous. We may also realize that while we can control what we think, say or do, we largely haven’t much control over other people, the future, or certain outcomes.

What steps can you take to address your anxiety? Would it help to practice deep breathing? Do you need to speak to a trusted other or mental health professional? Do you need to pause and think about what you really do have control over? Do you need to remind yourself that anxiety is just a feeling that likely will pass? You have the power to manage your symptoms of anxiety.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP