Author: Karri Christiansen

What is your anxiety telling you?

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From time to time, most people notice feeling anxious. In the United States alone, some 40 million people live with anxiety at any given time. Many people, though, often do not quite understand that their anxiety is trying to tell them.

How do we know when we’re feeling anxious? We may notice that our heart seems to be beating faster, that we feel nauseous or faint or lightheaded. We may notice that we start to perspire. We may notice that we are feeling out of control.

Anxiety can stem from many things, including work, family, friends, driving, flying or the possibility of health concerns. Anxiety tells us that there is something to be feared, or that we are in a dangerous situation. More often than not, though, what we are facing is less dangerous than it is uncomfortable. It might behoove you to remember that discomfort does not necessarily mean danger. Anxiety tries to convince us that that presentation we have to give is dangerous or that that mammogram we have to have will tell us we have cancer or that our plane will crash on the way to Italy. Are these things possible? Perhaps. Are these things likely? Perhaps not.

The thing about anxiety is that it tells us that if we worry enough about these things, we can somehow control the outcome. Anxiety tells us that we can somehow control the future or what other people think, say or do. Anxiety tells us that if we do this, that or the other thing, we can assert some control over what happens next. The fact of the matter is, though, that we have little to no control over the future or other people, in large part because people are often unpredictable.

When we try to control the future by performing certain behaviors or acts, what we are trying to do is rid ourselves of the worry about the future. If instead we try to remember what we really do have control over—what we think, say or do—we may start to feel a bit less anxious.

How do we manage symptoms of anxiety or approach situations with less anxiety. One of the ways to manage those pesky symptoms of anxiety is to remember to breathe. Oftentimes, when we feel anxious we may notice that we are holding our breath or breathing shallowly. If we give ourselves permission to slow down, take a few deep breaths that are longer on the exhale than the inhale, we can slow down our central nervous system and get out of fight or flight mode and start to feel less anxious. We also can remind ourselves to really look at the situation before us. Is it really dangerous or is it uncomfortable? This may require us to pause for a few moments and really get in touch with that feeling of anxiety, and that is okay.

Another way to manage symptoms of anxiety is to create some space and distance between us and that feeling of anxiety. If we say to ourselves, “Oh, I’m so anxious!” what likely will happen is that we will start to feel more anxious because we are identifying with that feeling of anxiety. If instead we say, “Oh, I notice that I am feeling anxious,” we create some distance between us and that feeling of anxiety. We start to feel less anxious.

Anxiety is like other feelings, and what feelings do is provide us with information about certain situations. It may do well to listen to your body and tend to your body’s needs. Is your anxiety leaving you feeling nauseous? Lightheaded? As though your heart is beating faster? These symptoms may be telling you that you need to take a breath. If we listen to our bodies, they will tell us what we need.

Millions of people on this planet live with anxiety. Most of us will feel anxious from time to time. That is normal. Anxiety provides information about the situation we are facing. That feeling of anxiety, like all feelings, provides data, information. If we can give ourselves permission to slow down, breathe, and really assess the situation, we may find that what we are facing really is more uncomfortable than it is dangerous. We may also realize that while we can control what we think, say or do, we largely haven’t much control over other people, the future, or certain outcomes.

What steps can you take to address your anxiety? Would it help to practice deep breathing? Do you need to speak to a trusted other or mental health professional? Do you need to pause and think about what you really do have control over? Do you need to remind yourself that anxiety is just a feeling that likely will pass? You have the power to manage your symptoms of anxiety.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

What is your anxiety telling you?

What happens when we “one up” or “one down” with others?

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We seem to be living in an era where people often engage in comparison. Thanks in part to the advent of social media, with people posting their highlight reels and making it seems as though their lives are nearly perfect, many people find that they engage in a dangerous game of comparing their lives to those of others, even those they do not know personally. Where, you may ask, is the danger in that?

The danger lies in the fact that we cannot really know what is going on in the lives of others unless we know them personally and show an interest in who they are and what they are doing. That requires some measure of vulnerability and courage to connect in real life, on a human level. Social media largely prevents us from really connecting and reinforces the often subconscious act of comparing our lives to others. That happens with social media, and in real life. Comparing our lives to those of others is a slippery slope that can leave us feeling either better than or less than others. It encourages us to “one up” or, sometimes, “one down” with others so that we feel in some way either better than or less than others. Either way, doing so is bad for our mental health.

When we “one up” or “one down” with others, what we are doing is encouraging feelings of insecurity to fester within us. The more secure we are in ourselves and our own lives, the less we will feel the need to engage in those “one up” or “one down” behaviors of comparison. The more secure we are in ourselves and our lives, the more we will come to realize that comparison is a futile act. There will always be someone who has more and there will always be someone who has less. The question is, can you be okay with what you have while working toward what you want?

When we engage in comparison, when we “one up” or “one down” with others, we lose the ability to evaluate our own lives accurately. We look at our lives through a lens that is cloudy. And that can leave us feeling insecure. When we “one up” with others, what we really are doing is saying, “I have to prove to myself and others that I am better than someone else.” The same is true when we “one down” with others. When we say we have it worse than others, we are saying that we cannot appreciate all we have and all we are. This sort of behavior rarely leaves us feeling empowered, and in fact, can leave us feeling as though we are never good enough, smart enough, rich enough, never enough of anything at all.

While most of us engage in comparison at some point, it may behoove us to remember that doing so really only robs us of the chance to be happy with who we are, what we are and what we have. Yes, someone may have it better than us. That does not have to mean that we are somehow less than. Yes, someone may have it worse than us. That does not mean we are somehow better than. We just are. We just are wonderfully made, perfectly imperfect humans and that is all we need to be. We do not need to be better than or worse than to prove anything to anyone. We can just be us.

Can you give yourself permission to free yourself from comparison? Can you give yourself permission to appreciate who and what and where you are in your life without the need to compare yourself and your life to others? Can you remind yourself that comparison is the thief of joy?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

What happens when we “one up” or “one down” with others?

Is it time to spring clean your mind?

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For many people, spring can be a season of renewal. Many people approach this new season with hopes of spring cleaning their homes, decluttering and making their spaces tidy and comfortable to live in. But, can this also be a time to spring clean your mind?

What could it look, sound and feel like to do a little spring cleaning of the mind?

For starters, it could look like replacing some of your negative self-talk with positive self-talk. This could take the form of thought stopping, or literally saying “stop” when we notice ourselves going down the rabbit hole of negative self-talk or self-shaming talk. This also could mean practicing positive self-affirmations, whether that is in our minds or out loud so our brains can hear. Remember that your brain is listening to everything you say to yourself, all day, every day, so it is important to speak kindly to yourself.

Spring cleaning the mind also could mean ridding ourselves of all the negativity that we encounter on social media. Maybe that means whittling down your friends list to include only those people with whom you have a real connection, or cutting out those folks who engage in negativity. For some, that may mean a social media detox of anything from a few days to a few weeks, to a few months or even forever. For some people, a social media detox can mean setting a time limit for consumption, be it just a few minutes to an hour. Taking a break from social media can help us reset and regroup, and really think about who and what is important to us.

For some people, a spring cleaning of the mind can mean abandoning unrealistic or perfectionistic goals. Maybe this means rethinking what some of your goals are, really giving some thought to what is and what is not feasible given your current situation. Maybe that means giving some thought to what it is you really want to accomplish, and setting small goals along the way to that one big goal. This also can include some self-compassion, particularly if you found a goal to be impossible to reach at this stage in life.

A good mental spring cleaning also could mean letting go of the need to be everything and everywhere for people who either unwilling or unable to reciprocate. Maybe that means setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life. Maybe that means saying “no” to the things and people who no longer bring you joy. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and is in no way selfish. Boundaries teach others how to respect us. This also could mean asking for help with caregiving, specific tasks or chores around the house or yard. Asking for help takes more courage than does suffering in silence.

Spring can be a time of renewal for many people. In addition to noticing flowers start to bloom, perhaps this can be a time to offer your mind a chance to bloom into healthy thoughts and actions. Letting go of unrealistic goals and expectations of and for yourself and others is a beautiful way to embrace the new season. Offering yourself a chance to really think about who and what is important in your life can make transitioning into this new season a time of real renewal. What might you be able to do to spring clean your mind?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Is it time to spring clean your mind?

Be careful of the stories you tell yourself

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We as humans are great at telling stories. Telling stories is one of the ways we share with other humans. We share stories to let others know who we are, where we come from, what our hopes and dreams are. We tell stories to connect with others. But what happens when we start telling ourselves stories?

Sometimes, we can tell ourselves great stories about where we’ve come from and where we’re headed. Those can be good stories, depending on how we shape our narratives. Other stories, though, can be rife with half-truths or complete malarkey. Many of us tell ourselves stories to avoid pain, to attempt to control a narrative, to give ourselves the illusion that we are in control of something we actually have little to no control over. These are the stories we might want to avoid.

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories in an attempt to make ourselves feel better about a particular situation, or person, or event. We may believe these stories are true, but are they really? Do you have evidence to prove that your story is true? Or, are you filling in gaps of knowledge or information with something that may seem to make sense but isn’t backed up with evidence?

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories to avoid having to change ourselves. This can happen when we place the blame for a situation or event on someone else. Doing so can leave us with a story in our heads that absolves us of the responsibility for someone else’s hurt feelings. And, yes, while we are not responsible for another person’s feelings, we can contribute to a person’s feelings. When we absolve ourselves of the responsibility for hurting someone emotionally, verbally, mentally or physically, and tell ourselves that we are not to blame when we, in fact, are to blame, we’re attempting to control a narrative that we just don’t like. Doing so can leave that other person even more hurt. Sometimes, what needs to happen is that we make an apology or change our behavior.

Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories that keep us stuck in a situation, like an abusive or unsatisfying, toxic, or dangerous relationship. We tell ourselves that no one else will love us, that we are unworthy of love, that we can’t leave. These stories can keep us stuck in something when we deserve better, which, in fact, we do.

We all tell ourselves stories. Some are good and some are not. When we fill in gaps of information or knowledge with stories without looking for evidence to support our stories, we run the risk of getting stuck in a narrative that likely is not helpful to ourselves or other people. Be wary of the stories you are telling yourself, and make sure you have evidence to support your stories.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Be careful of the stories you tell yourself

Vulnerability is the path to love

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It seems as though Valentine’s Day is upon us, and for many people the holiday can evoke feelings of both happiness and sadness. Many people feel as though they must be partnered to enjoy the holiday, but there is more than one way to celebrate this day of love.

What is love, anyway? Romantic love is just one type of love. While romantic love, or Eros, is perhaps the best known type of love, there are many others. There is the love of friendship, and the love of family. There is the love of community and of people in general. And there is the type of love that grows over time.

There are many kinds of love, and myriad ways in which we can feel and share love. If we look for it, love really is all around us. And, if we listen, people often tell us they love us in many different ways.

How do we notice love when doing so can sometimes feel very challenging? How do we nurture and nourish love? Doing so often requires some measure of vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to really be seen and heard, we open the door to love. Doing so can require some measure of courage, because vulnerability can be uncomfortable, even scary, for many people.

Giving ourselves permission to be vulnerable means that we open ourselves up to rejection, but also can mean that we open ourselves up to acceptance, for who and what we are. For all our foibles, imperfections and flaws. And, letting others see all our foibles, imperfections and flaws can be scary. But if we fail to let people see who we really are, it could leave us feeling as though we never really are seen, heard, understood, and, ultimately, loved.

Letting ourselves be loved means that we let ourselves really be seen. Doing so can be scary, yes. Hiding parts of ourselves from others prevents them from really understanding who we are, and it is that understanding that nurtures and nourishes love. On the flip side, offering our understanding and acceptance to others also can help grow love, nurture relationships and let them blossom.

When we live in shame or keep parts of us hidden, it is hard to nurture love of others, love of self and love for others. When we live in shame or keep parts of us hidden, we are not giving others the opportunity to love our authentic selves, the real us. Shame is a barrier to love. When we fail to give ourselves permission to be vulnerable by keeping parts of us hidden, we fail to give others the chance to really know and love us.

Shame often is what keeps us from practicing vulnerability. Shame tells us we are not worthy of love, of belonging, of being understood. Shame lives in the shadows. Vulnerability lets us step into the light, be seen and heard and understood, and, loved.

Can you give yourself permission to practice vulnerability? Can you step out of the shame shadows and let yourself really be seen, be heard and be understood? Can you give yourself permission to accept love?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Vulnerability is the path to love

Can we enjoy being wrong?

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It seems as though we are living in an era when many people have concerns about being wrong, and what being wrong says about them. We currently live in a time when we are flooded with misinformation and disinformation, with many people doubling-down on their beliefs even in the face of new or updated information, or information that runs contrary to their strongly-held beliefs. We are living in an era when people seemingly cannot accept even the idea that they may be wrong.

What would it mean if we were to entertain the notion that we could, in fact, be wrong? It seems as though many people believe that being wrong carries some heavy meaning about them as human beings. What if that weren’t true? What if being wrong could be joyful, pleasurable?

In the book “Think Again,” Adam Grant encourages us to consider not just that we could be wrong in our thinking, but the idea that being wrong opens us up to the possibility of learning something new. What if instead of carrying the belief that being wrong means we somehow are defective as a human being, we consider the notion that we could be wrong about all sorts of things and that means we could be open to learning something new.

What if being wrong doesn’t say something about you as a human being other than the fact that you are open to learning? Could you take pleasure in the idea of learning something new? Can you entertain the notion that you can both learn something new and still hold onto your beliefs?

We can hold both the idea of being wrong AND stay true to our beliefs while entertaining the idea that others may have new or updated information. That does not have to say anything about who we are as humans, other than that we may have just discovered some new piece of information, as well as something about ourselves.

Being wrong is not a character flaw. Being wrong does not have to mean that we have to upend our way of thinking. It just means that we can be open to new ideas or new information. When we double-down on what we already think we know, we do not leave any room for learning. When we double-down on what we think we already know, we lose an opportunity to change and grow as people, as thinkers. It seems there is a lot of that happening now, in the age of misinformation, disinformation and living in the echo chamber of social media.

How do we open ourselves up to the possibility that we could be wrong? We enter into conversations with people who may think differently than we do and approach them with curiosity and compassion. We entertain the notion that we may not be the smartest person in the conversation or in the room. And we admit to ourselves that if we think we are the smartest person in the conversation or in the room, we likely are in the wrong room.

Life should be about learning. Learning is how we grow, change and evolve. When we open ourselves up to the idea of learning, we give ourselves permission to check our facts, vet our news sources and engage in compassionate conversation with people who think differently than we might.

Can you give yourself permission to consider that you may be wrong … from time to time? Can you give yourself permission to be open to new ways of thinking? Can you think like a scientist by checking your facts, vetting your sources, and verify that you have not been fed misinformation or have fallen prey to disinformation? Being wrong is not a character flaw. Give yourself permission to be a lifelong learner.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Can we enjoy being wrong?

Is it time to HALT the BS?

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We are just two days into the new year and already I am hearing from people who are feeling stressed to the point of burnout, and as though the holiday season has left them feeling more tired than relaxed. I also am hearing from people sharing that their feelings of stress and anxiety and burnout and exhaustion have meant an increase in engaging in addictive behaviors as a way to somehow cope.

Those behaviors may have served a purpose at some point, but many people are finding that those same behaviors (such as consuming alcohol, marijuana or other substances, gambling, shopping or watching pornography) no longer are helping as much as they used to, or even at all. In many case, these behaviors are making things worse at home, work and school, with our family, friends and loved ones.

So why do we turn to such behaviors when, at best, they only work temporarily? Well, we do so because they once seemed to work for a while and we hope that they still will. Problem is just that: they only work temporarily and then we’re back to Square One.

We often turn to our addictive behaviors when we are feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired. In fact, many Twelve Step programs remind us of the acronym HALT to give us pause when we are thinking about engaging in one or more of our addictive behaviors. If we can give ourselves permission to think about what we really are feeling and what we really are needing, we sometimes can avoid engaging in the self-destructive behaviors of any type of addiction.

For many people, reminding themselves of the HALT acronym can be helpful. Sometimes, though, there is more than just hungry, angry, lonely or tired going on. Sometimes, there’s also boredom or stress. If we try to remember to HALT the BS, we may be even more successful at taming our self-destructive behaviors.

Some people find that when they’re bored, they also engage in self-destructive behaviors because they feel as though they have nothing else to do. What could happen instead of engaging in self-destructive behavior is reaching out to someone, playing a game with friends either online or in real life, baking, knitting or going for a walk or run.

Often, when people are feeling stressed, they turn to those things that somehow bring them some measure of comfort. That could be using alcohol or other substances, binge eating, shopping, watching pornography, or gambling. But it could mean engaging in exercise, meditation or calling a friend or family member, or watching a movie or reading a good book.

We can remind ourselves that while our self-destructive behaviors may once have served a purpose in our lives when we have felt hungry, angry, lonely, tired, bored or stressed, those behaviors ultimately usually leave us feeling worse, setting ourselves up for self-shaming and negative self-talk (which perpetuates the cycle of using). If we can give ourselves permission to think about what we really are feeling and what we really need, we can avoid engaging in behaviors that likely more than not will leave us feeling worse.

Is it time for you to HALT the BS? What are you really feeling? What do you really need? Is it time to reach out to someone? To eat healthy food? Is it time to think about why you are feeling angry and what a healthy response to that anger would be? Do you need some good sleep? Are you bored? Are you stressed? What healthy coping skills might you turn to to HALT the BS?

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

Is it time to HALT the BS?

You can’t self-care yourself out of burnout

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For many people, it’s been a long year—and we still have a few weeks to go. For others, it’s been a rough start to the decade, having endured a global pandemic, what for many has been a challenging economy and now, a fraught election. We may be feeling stressed or anxious, or some combination thereof. Others, though, may be feeling something deeper, an exhaustion that just won’t go away. Many people are experiencing burnout.

What is burnout? And, how do we deal with it when we can’t just walk away from our jobs, our families or whatever else is causing extreme stress? Burnout happens when it seems that we cannot avoid stress and are feeling particularly anxious most, if not all, of the time. Burnout can be the result of giving too much of ourselves, such to the point that we feel we have little, if anything, left to give, be it to our jobs, our partners, our families, or whomever.

Burnout can feel like we have no control over some or all aspects of our lives. It can feel as though we have no say in how or when we do our work, be it with our schedule or our assignments or our workload. It can feel as though there is a lack of clarity over what your role is at work or at home. It can feel as though there is a lack of clarity about what is expected of you in any of your roles.

Burnout can manifest as irritability, leading to more frequent conflict with others. It can feel as though we either have too much or too little to do. It can lead to feelings of boredom. Burnout can also feel as though we haven’t the support we need to perform well in any of our roles, be it at work or at home. Burnout can lead to a lack of a work-life balance.

Many who experience burnout report frequent headaches, poor sleep and an inability to care for themselves. Others report that they have lost interest in activities they once enjoyed. Many of the symptoms of burnout are similar to those of depression and anxiety, and if left untreated, can actually lead to depression and anxiety.

It is important to take care of yourself in healthy ways if you notice yourself feeling burned out. It is important to practice good sleep hygiene, meaning going to bed and waking at about the same times every night and day. Most people do well with seven to nine hours of sleep.

It also is important to find healthy ways to manage stress. In addition to getting adequate sleep, it might be helpful to incorporate some exercise into your day. Studies show that at least 30 minutes of daily activity is helpful in warding off stress. Finding time for fun activities also can help with burnout.

Many people also find it helpful to set clear boundaries on their time, energy and space. That may mean having conversations with supervisors about workloads or with family members about care taking responsibilities.

One thing that is helpful to ward off burnout and to find some measure of joy in your life is practicing gratitude, which we have talked about before here. That does not have to mean that you’ve found a zillion dollars in a pot at the end of a double rainbow. It may mean that you enjoyed a really good morning beverage with someone you love. Staying connected with loved ones, be they family or friends, also can be helpful in managing burnout.

Lastly, while it may seem a good idea to comfort yourself with a piece of apple pie or chocolate cake or a venti double-caff, double-whip, double-caramel macchiato, or a three-blue-cheese-stuffed olive martini, that likely won’t help in the long run. What might help is nourishing yourself with healthy foods and staying hydrated with good, old-fashioned water.

Many people are experiencing burnout, especially now that we are in the winter holiday season. It is important to recognize the signs of burnout and to take care of yourself in healthy ways. Yes, self-care may help, but that is only part of the solution. Reach out to a trusted other, supervisor or mental health professional if you feel your symptoms are worsening or becoming unmanageable.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

You can’t self-care yourself out of burnout

What does it mean to practice gratitude?

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It seems as though the season of gratitude is upon us, though many people seem to be struggling to find things for which they are grateful. This is understandable, given the current state of the world. Still, if we take the time to look, there remains much to be grateful for.

With Thanksgiving being celebrated in the United States and other places just a few days from now, many people find that they are seeking things for which to express gratitude. Yes, given the state of the world, that can feel challenging. That may mean looking a little harder for things we are grateful for, or perhaps looking a little closer to home.

What does it mean to practice gratitude anyway, and why should we attempt to do so? Well, with everything going on in the world, taking the time to practice gratitude for what is good can leave us feeling less hopeless and helpless, less despair and less depressed. How do we practice gratitude when it seems as though the world has turned upside down. Well, I encourage you to start small.

I often encourage people struggling to practice gratitude to find three small things that are good, that made them smile during the day, or brought them some measure of pleasure. We do not have to think that we can only practice gratitude when we find a zillion dollars at the end of a double rainbow (which likely won’t happen, but maybe you found a penny on the ground). We can practice gratitude for the small things, like our morning beverage, and drill down on that.

For example, today I find myself grateful for my morning coffee, which I shared over conversation with my husband. I am grateful for the electricity I used to brew my coffee and the fact that I have regular, running water to make my coffee. I can practice gratitude for the people who grew my coffee beans and for whomever ground and bagged those beans, and for whomever manufactured my cup. Again, we don’t have to practice gratitude for the big stuff, we can do it for the little stuff, the stuff we sometimes take for granted.

We also can practice gratitude for the people in our lives … even those who think differently than we do or who live differently than we do. With many people gathering later this week around the table for their annual Thanksgiving feast, there are many things for which we can practice gratitude. Even Uncle Mike, whose politics may be different than ours.

Why practice gratitude in the first place? What good will come of it? There is some evidence that those who do practice gratitude on a regular basis are happier and healthier. Some people argue that gratitude is the birthplace of joy and that it’s not happy people who are grateful but grateful people who are happy. Some people find it helpful to write down at some point during the day (maybe over that morning beverage), three things for which they are grateful. Again, it doesn’t have to be three big things like you won a huge promotion with an obscene pay raise. Maybe it’s just that you have the ability to work.

We have 24 hours in a day during which we can find all sorts of things to practice gratitude for. When we do, we may find that our outlook on life may improve even just a little bit, we may feel happier. And when we are happier, we are healthier. Maybe we practice gratitude for that.

What are three things you can express gratitude for today? This week? This Thanksgiving? Who or what made you smile, or even laugh? Where did you find pleasure? What surprised you in a good way? Practice gratitude for that.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

What does it mean to practice gratitude?

What is your anger telling you?

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Many people this week in the United States and abroad have found themselves with a mixture of feelings about the outcome of the election here. People have voiced feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, dismay and even despair regarding the outcome. Some people have found themselves in grief over the loss of what could have been had the outcome been different.

What are these feelings telling us? If your primary feeling is one of anger, what is that anger telling you? Anger is a normal, human emotion that sometimes can be a protector of deeper, more tender feelings. Anger can be a signal that our deeper, more tender feelings need attention.

Anger, to some extent, is there to protect us. Much like a suit of armor, anger protects us from feeling those deeper feelings that, for many people, can be very uncomfortable. It is important to acknowledge our anger while also giving ourselves permission to explore what might be beneath that anger. Doing so can be empowering, and discharging it in healthy ways can also feel empowering.

Anger can also signal us that we may need to take healthy, appropriate action to protect our values. Many people may be feeling that with the outcome of Tuesday’s election, their values of kindness, compassion, grace, inclusivity, and tolerance are under assault. What might that mean for you in terms of taking action to protect your values? Could that mean that you consider volunteering your time, energy, effort, or money to causes you consider important? Could that mean writing letters to those in power to express your views and concerns? Could that mean taking time away from or limiting your social media consumption? Could that mean setting and enforcing boundaries with people?

Anger can be used to propel us toward hope. Hope is the antidote to despair as it can move us toward taking healthy, appropriate action to walk and talk our values. Hope can propel us toward taking the next, right step toward protecting our values.

Times are tough right now for many people. Many people have been left in a whirlwind of emotion stemming from Tuesday’s election. We may be feeling all the feelings, including anger. Think about what your anger is telling you and harness it. We can choose to use that anger to hurt others by lashing out in word or deed, or we can choose to use that anger to help ourselves AND others. We may be dismayed at the outcome of this election, but if we can choose to harness our hurt and anger for good and redirect it toward helpful, hopeful action, we can be the victors.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP

What is your anger telling you?