It is a sad but true fact of life that we will lose people we love. Grandparents, parents, spouses and friends will pass away. Their deaths will leave us feeling sad, empty, alone. We will grieve their losses for days, weeks, months, sometimes years.

Last week, I was working with two clients who recently had lost loved ones. One fellow lost his sister to suicide while a young lady found her father had died of a heart attack in the family home. Both losses are tragic and left my clients feeling raw sadness and profound grief. The young lady had found her father passed away after coming home from school one day just after Thanksgiving 2018. The fellow had lost his sister to suicide just days ago. Both were grieving. I encouraged each client to take time to navigate the grief process. There is no timetable on grief.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler believed there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages are not linear and there is no time limit on how long each stage should be experienced. Those who have lost loved ones may move through one stage only to return to another time and again before finally coming to terms with their loved one’s death. Again, there is no time limit on the stages of grief.

The young lady who lost her father told me that her mother was encouraging her to move on from her father’s death, to accept that he is no longer with her. That may have been mom’s way of trying to help, but the young lady needed to grieve in her own time and in her own way. There is no right way to grieve. Grief is very personal and we should be allowed to grieve the way we need to and for however long is necessary.

If grief becomes so overwhelming that you cannot function, there is help available. If you need someone to talk to to help process your grief, there are people who are willing and who want to help. There also are exercises that may be helpful in processing your grief. One such exercise is to write a good-bye letter to your loved one. Doing so may help you say to your loved one things you did not get an opportunity to say in person. You can send the letter to heaven, if you believe in that, by tying it to a balloon and releasing it into the air.

When we lose loved ones, we likely will feel the gamut of emotions, everything from sadness to anger or even relief. We must give ourselves permission to feel and to grieve in our own time. There is no right way to grieve, nor is there a time limit on grief. Grieve in your own time.