Many people have difficulty with change. Many people struggle with the notion of letting go of something that is so familiar to them, even if that something has left them feeling comfortably uncomfortable. But change is part of life. We may not realize it, but we are in a constant state of change. Maybe it’s time to embrace change in your life.

How do we go about making change? How do we embrace change when change can seem so daunting, so scary? How do we move away from something or someone or someplace that has become so familiar to us, even if that has become uncomfortable or toxic or no longer serves us? We change by considering the Four Ps: permission, practice, patience and persistence.

Most people don’t like change, in part because change requires us to do something different, something we are not used to. Change asks us to consider doing things a different way, or to part ways with someone who no longer is good for us, or to embrace a new idea. Change is often uncomfortable and our brains like comfort, even if that “comfort” really no longer is good for us.

The first step in making change is to give yourself permission to go ahead and make that change. Giving yourself permission to change means that you come to the understanding that you are in the driver’s seat. Giving yourself permission to change means that you acknowledge that you have the power to change. Giving yourself permission to change means that you recognize that you deserve better than being comfortably uncomfortable with whatever has left you feeling that way.

The second step in making change is practicing that change. This means daily effort and daily commitment. This means recognizing that change does not happen overnight. Practicing change means that you engage in activities that move you closer to how you want to feel and how you want to live your life, rather than doing the same old thing day in and day out. Practicing change means that you are intentional about taking the steps you need to take to make change happen. That can mean being more assertive with the people in your life, advocating for yourself, or setting boundaries. That can mean engaging in activities that set you up for success, be it at work, at home, or with family and friends.

The next step in making change is being patient with yourself and with the process of change. Again, change usually does not happen overnight. Change, real change, long lasting change, takes practice and patience. Some days, making a change will feel good and right. Other days, change may feel wrong and scary. Stick with it anyway. The longer you can stick with the change you are trying to make, the more successful you will feel. Some days, it may feel as though you are not seeing any progress when you are trying to make a change. Remind yourself that small progress is still progress. Little changes add up to big changes, and little changes help our brains be more comfortable with the changes we want to make.

The fourth step in making change is persistence. This is akin to perseverance. When making a change, we stick with it. We may be tempted to quit and revert to our old ways of thinking or doing or behaving because our brains like familiarity. Give yourself permission to see change through until you are satisfied. Being persistent means that even on the days when change feels really hard, we march on. We continue. We persist.

Most of us do not do well with change. Our brains crave familiarity. That means, though, that we may find ourselves feeling comfortably uncomfortable. Remind yourself that you deserve better. It is okay to want something different and to go after it. It is okay to acknowledge that change is part of life. We as humans are constantly evolving, we are constantly changing. It is okay to embrace change and to make changes in areas of your life that no longer serve you. It is okay to remind yourself that you have the power to enact change. It is okay to remind yourself that you are the power.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LCSW, CADC, CCTP